Wednesday 12 August 2015

One man to unite them all?

The political rise of Jeremy Corbyn in recent weeks has been an interesting one. And, dare I say it, it could be the most exciting thing to happen in British politics for years.

Of course, there's some in the Labour party who would disagree, principally those associated with "New Labour" who seem oblivious to the fact that what they're seeing is a proper grassroots uprising, an attempt by party members to take back the party where they see the elite as having become hopelessly out of touch with the footsoldiers of the movement. And I'm guessing that for those who've been pushing the whole "we know best now just shut up and get on with distributing those leaflets" mantra for the last decade and a half, it must be giving them a fair few sleepless nights. Hence the vitriolic nature of the attacks on Corbyn from people like Tony Blair and co.

Unlike a lot of people on the political left, I happen to think that Tony Blair did do some good as leader of this country looking back with ten years' hindsight - raising the minimum wage, introducing Sure Start centres and helping bring youth unemployment down mainly. But unfortunately the first thing that will always come to mind when his name is mentioned is that he dragged this country into an illegal war that only 9% of the population supported at the time. On top of that there's his nauseous buddying up to Rupert Murdoch and his hateful horde of right-wing publications, the introduction of disastrous PFI schemes into the NHS, university tuition fees which inevitably tilt the education system in this country towards those with the money to afford it rather than those who are actually clever enough to deserve to be there and many others besides.

And don't give me the line about how Tony Blair is the only Labour leader to win an election in the last 40 years. The Tories were in such a mess from 1997-2005 that you could have had a lobotomised Boris Johnson spearheading the Labour campaign and he'd still have picked up a comfortable 100 seat majority. The Conservative party that we're dealing with in 2015 (and will be dealing with in 2020 as well) is much more organised, much more crafty and a much more well-oiled machine and they won't be nearly as easy to defeat as they were under Major, Hague, Duncan-Smith or Howard.

Maybe rather than scornfully deriding Corbyn and his supporters as fantasists, Blair and his followers like Chuka Umunna, Liz Kendall, Simon Danczuk etc should maybe do a bit of history research into their own party. The Labour Party was set up by the trade unions to be a voice for working class people and protect them from the policies of the Tories and Liberals back in the day who were owned by the ruling class. Hence why in the post-World War II years we got a welfare state and a National Health Service which the current Tory government are doing their utmost to destroy and turn our healthcare system into a terrifying US-style free for all (Andy's recommended watching - "Sicko" by Michael Moore. If you think NHS privatisation is in any way a good thing, this will quickly show you why it really really isn't).

But getting back to Labour, this is why so many working class people now look at the party and don't feel it's standing up for them anymore. Since 1995, there may have been a few cosmetic differences between the red and blue side of the political divide but what Blair, Brown and Miliband have essentially been peddling is a Conservative manifesto from the 1970s. And as anyone with any knowledge of politics knows, the Conservatives have never been a party with the interests of the working class at heart no matter how much Sun journalists might want you to think otherwise.

Labour did make a few moves to the left under Ed Miliband but, again contrary to what Blair would want you to think, it's the fact that they didn't go far enough in setting enough distance between themselves and the Tories that cost them the election, not the fact that they didn't try to continue to be the Tories with red rosettes that they were as New Labour. To quote Edwyn Collins, "I heard it once before and unless I got it wrong, you can't defeat your enemy by singing his song". Don't get me wrong, I think Ed Miliband's a genuinely nice guy and the sort of person I would happily give a mortgage reference to if he asked me but as a political leader, he was hopelessly out of his depth. The instant that him and Ed Balls said that they would accept the horrifically brutish spending cuts imposed by George Osborne in about 2012 rather than trying to reverse them was the moment their chances of getting back into power ended.

Which brings me back to where Jeremy Corbyn comes in. Unlike Miliband, he's the sort of person who won't be dictated to by Cameron, Osborne, Duncan-Smith, Hunt etc and won't let them frame the debate over the economy, the NHS, public spending etc. He's smart enough to realise that a lot of people out there will support a party that promises something different from the five years of poverty that 99% of the population now faces under a Tory administration. And he knows that he can back it up with figures. Consider this - while the Tories were putting through another round of cruel and vicious benefits cuts last month (which, of the four leadership candidates, only Corbyn actually voted against), they were actually putting through in the same bill tax cuts for corporations and the richest in society. Still think that Corbynites are a bunch of left wing loonies? I'd say that the truth is that he's more of a realist than anyone on the Labour or Tory front benches and knows how to fix this country.

In fact, Corbyn's manifesto is probably nearer to that of Neil Kinnock than Tony Benn and makes a lot of sense. Fed up of rip-off train prices and energy bills? Nationalise them. Higher top tax rate? If you can afford to pay then yes - that money will go to the people who need it rather than the fallacy of "trickle down" economics. After all, as "Call me Dave" Cameron said, we're all in this together, right? More affordable council housing? In an age where people can't afford a mortgage until their forties at present, I think that's a very sensible idea. Stricter controls on newspapers and media? Given some of the odious practices of the Sun and the Mail as detailed in the Leveson Report, I'm all for it. And if it annoys a few bankers, corporate fat cats and newspaper owners who decide to take their trade off to Hong Kong in protest then good. The country's better off without leeches like them.

What Labour needs to do is to stop trying to hopelessly chase after the 5% of Middle England voters in swing seats. Newsflash guys - they'll never vote for you. These people are Tories and they won't vote for a Labour party while there's a strong Conservative party in government. What they should do is concentrate on winning back the voters that have been haemorrhaging out of the party since 1997. The people who've joined the Greens because they look at them and see the party that Labour used to be, promising a fairer society. The Scots who've migrated en masse to the SNP - not all of them are rabid nationalists who hate the English spend their waking hours searching the web for people who disagree with independence to troll, they just see that the Westminster system is broken and are crying out for a party promising something different which Labour hasn't been for a long time. The people who've scarily moved to the opposite end of the spectrum to UKIP because they see it as a more grassroots movement than Labour (which it is, unfortunately it's also a borderline far right and ultra-racist one which should have had Labour quickly reacting to shoot down the poisonous myths about immigrants that they're spreading). That's a far bigger group of supporters than just a few undecided 2.4 children families who will probably side with the Tories in the end anyway.

One man to unite them all. And his name might just be Jeremy Corbyn. I hope so anyway. And if Blair, Kendall, Umunna, Yvette Cooper et al don't like it they can always do what David Owen did 35 odd years ago and go off and join the Lib Dems. You might want to ask Nick Clegg about how that party's holding up at the moment though...

Friday 7 August 2015

Flashback Friday #1 - Antiproduct

"Here's another message for ya, Slipknot Youth/Your nation is your god and your music is your truth/It makes you feel good, yeah, it makes you feel safe/NOW GET OUTTA OUR WAY, WE'RE TAKIN' OVER THIS PLACE!" - Antiproduct - "Better Than This"

So here we go, another new thing on this site. The aim of this (hopefully) weekly rambling will be as a bit of a flashback guide to some of the bands who you may have missed over the last 15-20 years or so. And there really seems no better place to start than Antiproduct, not least because they're one of those bands that you'll probably see linked to a LOT of the other groups who crop up in this column in the weeks ahead in some way or other...

I dunno how many out there remember the years 2000-2003 or so. Let me tell you, it was shit. Ignoring a few decent bands on the fringes like Silver Ginger 5, the Yo-Yo's and the Backyard Babies, the pages of Kerrang! were pretty much saturated first with godawful nu-metal neanderthals like Limp Bizkit, Korn, Crazytown, Slipknot et al, then with horrible whiny pop-punk fratboys like Blink 182, Sum 41, Alien Ant Farm, Wheatus etc. And don't even get me started on the godawful abomination that was emo that followed that. The pages of the NME weren't much better - the demise of the Melody Maker meant that genuinely good bands like King Adora and Easyworld were being ignored in favour of posh boy trust fund "garage bands" with cash from their CEO parents to buy their way to column inches - first the Strokes and a million and one dead-eyed clone bands that slithered across the Atlantic with them, then the Libertines and the Arctic Monkeys and the horrible wave of put on whiny accents and skaghead wannabes that followed them with all the glamour of a 50p chips and saveloy deal at a Barnsley takeaway.

Something needed to change. Something needed to exist as an alternative. Thank fuck we had bands like Antiproduct is all I can say. Imagine walking into a rock club in this era expecting some bunch of mopes with Phil Oakey fringes whinging about how the cute girl in their chemistry class won't go to the prom with them even though they're all a) well into their twenties and b) from somewhere like Peterborough rather than New York or California. And instead you get THIS...



Pretty flippin' good, eh? I first encountered Antiproduct via their frontman Alex Kane's short-lived two-man industrial comedy noise terrorism band Clam Abuse which he formed with Ginger Wildheart following the messy break-up of the 'Hearts in 1997 or so. Though even by then, Kane was a relative veteran of the music scene, having started as guitarist with LA via Chicago glam-shock-rock outfit Life, Sex & Death. LSD's main gimmick was that they had (according to legend) been searching for a singer for months and eventually recruited a random hobo called Stanley who wandered into their rehearsal space by accident. They put out one album, 1993's rather awesome "The Silent Majority" and if you listen to it you can definitely hear the genesis for the full on insanity that was Antiproduct therein.


Anyway, perhaps unsurprisingly given the madness surrounding the band, LSD weren't long for this world and, after a brief spell handling guitar duties in Enuff Z'Nuff mid-'90s, Kane found himself over in England hanging out with Ginger Wildheart. The Wildhearts story has already been told many times elsewhere and suffice to say that without them, my musical education would've been very different. At the time, the Wildhearts had spluttered to a halt with the vicious industrial album "Endless Nameless", an under-rated album but one which was a complete departure from anything they'd done before and completely threw most fans for a loop at the time.

So what happens then when you mix "Endless Nameless"' industrial dynamics with LSD's brand of insanity. Why, funny you should ask, you get Clam Abuse consisting of Clam Savage and Clint Abuse (that'll be Ginger and Alex, I'm not sure which was which). I'm sure they probably deserve a Flashback Friday column all of their own but they kept it together just long enough to make one album, 1998's "Stop Thinking". Again, sane it very much isn't. Bloody good it very much is.


Clam Abuse imploded in 1999 with Ginger going off to form the more straightforward Silver Ginger 5 and Kane rechristening himself A Product, recruiting guitarist Clare Pproduct and Sack Trick's rhythm section of Chris Dale and Robin Guy and letting loose with Antiproduct's opening salvo of "Consume And Die...The Rest Is All Fun" The band quickly became known for their incendiary live shows with Kane, looking like a cross between Gene Simmons and Krusty The Clown, taking time out to scare the hell out of all and sundry.



The line-up would slowly evolve. Dale and Guy would quickly return to Sack Trick (Guy also drumming for countless other bands) and a new line-up would emerge with Argentinian Milena Yum on keyboards, Simon Gonk on drums and first Toshi (who would later join the Ga*Ga's and Slaves To Gravity) and then Marina Metallina on bass.


To those who never experienced them, it's kind of difficult to describe an Antiproduct live show - complete and utter chaos but chaos of the most thrilling kind. Gonk smashing his kit like he was building a shed, Marina and Milena the two cool-as-ice vixens at either side of the stage, Clare stalking the stage like a giraffe on stilts thrashing the hell out of her six string and Kane the tireless generator at the centre of the storm. Whether it was goading the whole audience into joining in with the opening bars of "Bungee Jumping People Die!" (those trying to hide out at the back were often quickly pointed out and had abuse shouted at them), spraying silly string (and occasionally spray paint) around on stage or even getting the whole audience to shout abuse at Trashlight Vision's roadie when they came onstage much to the concern of their unprepared singer Acey Slade (Leeds Met, 2005. I was there. It was probably one of the most awesome things I've ever seen at a gig), you wouldn't forget an Antiproduct gig in a hurry, trust me.

And they were a bloody hard-working band as well, playing anywhere and everywhere that'd have them. Christ, I even followed them to Hebden Bridge once. And that sort of persistence will earn you a seriously hardcore following - Antiproduct's APRA fan club were notoriously loyal even by metal standards. Add a tendency towards every daft publicity stunt imaginable from selling vials of their bodily fluids on their website to being interviewed in adult mag Mayfair, they really were a band outside the box in many senses of the word.


Antiproduct's second album "Made In USA" arrived in 2004 and is probably the nearest they came to capturing the full on chaos of their live sound on record with songs like "Turnin' Me On" and "If I Was Orson Welles". They put one single out from it, "Better Than This". Which had 15 tracks on it. Reviews were good and it should have been the record to put them over the top.

Except...it didn't happen for some reason. Instability set in with various members bailing out to new bands - Marina joined Eyelash and Milena joined Shush (who I'm pretty sure we'll cover in due course in this column as well) while Simon picked up a broken foot on tour and still insisted on drumming throughout. Inevitably at the end, he had to leave the band for fear of risking permanent damage.

The following months saw a revolving door membership with everyone from ex-White Lion drummer Greg D'Angelo to future Eureka Machines frontman Chris Catalyst serving with the band. Live gigs suddenly started to become rarer and rarer and Kane eventually disappeared back to the States for an extended hiatus.



A third Antiproduct album, "Please Take Your Cash" eventually surfaced in 2009 consisting of half new songs and half re-recorded songs. It was good enough but the lack of new material was a bit of a concern. They even came back over to do a few gigs supporting their old mates the Wildhearts in 2009 and 2010. But since then...nothing.

Various ex-Antiproduct members have resurfaced in other peoples' bands down the years. Both Alex and Clare have done time with both Richie and Marky Ramone's live bands while Clare has also served with the appropriately titled Noizee. Of other ex-members, Milena has also been part of electro-rockers Tecnotitlan as well as Shush while Toshi was last seen in the excellent Hey! Hello! with that man Ginger Wildheart again. Robin Guy is currently in Sham 69, Kitty Hudson and probably about three other bands as I write this and Chris Dale occasionally resurfaces with Sack Trick. Simon and Marina? No idea I'm afraid. Phone home if you know.

You know what? I miss Antiproduct. The music world seems a much colder and less entertaining place without them around. And I'm sure most people who went to their gigs would have their own memories that have lasted with them for the last 10-15 years or so. But you know what else? Something tells me we haven't heard the last of them. And I'm keeping my fingers crossed that when they come back it's with an album that's as wonderfully unhinged and heavy as only they can be. We live in hope and await the day...


Thursday 6 August 2015

Throwback Thursday - Haggis from the Four Horsemen/The Cult/Zodiac Mindwarp

So welcome to the first of an occasional series on this page which is a look back at various articles and reviews I've done for various fanzines over the last 15-20 years. I thought I'd start with this one as it's still one of my favourite memories of the last decade or so.

I did this interview for the sadly now defunct "Bubblegum Slut" fanzine and it took place about a month after I moved to London in 2010. For those unaware of him, Stephen "Haggis" Harris may just have one of the coolest CV's in rock 'n' roll having gone through the ranks of Zodiac Mindwarp & The Love Reaction, the Cult and the Four Horsemen and, as an interview, my chat with him was everything I hoped it'd be and more.

Because of space restrictions, this article ended up being clipped quite a bit for "Bubblegum Slut" but what you're getting here is the full unadulterated version. Enjoy...and be warned, this is definitely not for the squeamish...

"A Life In Rock 'n' Roll" - Haggis from the Four Horsemen


As I step out of Tottenham Court Road tube station and head into deepest darkest Soho, I'm wondering just what I've got myself into with this, my first major fanzine journalism assignment since becoming a full time London resident a few weeks ago. All I know is that I'm heading to a tattoo parlour somewhere around here to interview a man with possibly one of the coolest CV's in rock 'n' roll history. The guy in question is Stephen Harris aka Haggis aka Kid Chaos. Having started out as bass player with Zodiac Mindwarp and the Love Reaction during their early days and the "High Priest Of Love" EP, legend has it that he was poached by the Cult for the world tour of their "Electric" album, the LP that saw them transcend from dreamy mid-'80s goths to States-conquering Rick Rubin-produced rock behemoths. However, his stint with Ian Astbury and Billy Duffy would be a short one and he would move on to put his own group together with Rubin as their producer and overseer. That group would be the legendary Four Horsemen, one of the best bands to emerge from the seedy underbelly of LA in the late '80s. Mixing Lynyrd Skynyrd's southern-fried boogie with AC/DC's power riffs and the sheer scumminess of prime time Guns 'n' Roses, the Horsemen should've been huge and their 1991 masterpiece "Nobody Said It Was Easy" still stands up as one of the best of that era today. Unfortunately, bad behaviour and sheer bad luck followed the Horsemen around like twin dark shadows and it took them no less than five years to release a follow-up in "Gettin' Pretty Good At Barely Gettin' By". By this time, the band had gone into tailspin - Haggis had left the ranks along with bass player Ben Pape, the group's powerhouse drummer Dimwit was dead from a suspected OD and madman singer Frank C Starr was in a coma following a motorcycle accident from which he'd never wake up. The group's sole surviving member lead guitarist Dave Lizmi soldiered on for a couple of years with a makeshift line-up led by ex-Little Caesar frontman Ron Young but the magic was long gone and the Horsemen finally called it a day in 1998 to be left as one of the great cult bands of the era, a memory for a few dedicated acolytes and those persistent enough to try and dig out their legacy.

Until now. Although a reunion is very much out of the question with only three surviving members, late 2009 saw a new Four Horsemen website set up by Haggis and Dave Lizmi which includes lovingly remastered re-releases of the entire long-deleted Four Horsemen back catalogue. The Horsemen have been one of my favourite groups ever since the always-reliable "Sleazegrinder" website pointed me towards them and, after much searching, I finally found an affordable CD copy of "Nobody Said It Was Easy" at a second hand record shop in my then-hometown of Bradford. Suffice to say that record has rarely been off my stereo for more than a few days at a time ever since. So, after agreeing it with our esteemed ed Alison, I sent an e-mail off to the website and Haggis was nice enough to get back to me saying he'd be in London in a few weeks and would I be interested in meeting up with him somewhere and doing the interview there?

Which brings us back to the present. After wandering through streets of second hand record shops, boutiques, peep shows and massage parlours, I finally find the establishment I'm looking for. With a deep breath I step through the door only to be told by the nice man inside that Haggis and the parlour owner, a friend as it turns out, have adjourned to a pub down the road. Far from the den of iniquity I was half-expecting it turns out to be a nice olde worlde place serving good beer with a relaxed atmosphere and I finally meet up with the guy in the back room. These days Haggis lives out in the States and is training to be a doctor at medical school. Certainly in terms of looks he bears very little resemblance from the long-haired mirrored shades-clad guitar slinger from his early days. In fact, he's a genuinely nice and laid back sort of guy. But believe you me, he's still got the stories to tell and as he spills them out in an accent that's half from his native Welsh valleys and half from his adopted home across the Atlantic, it makes for some pretty compelling listening. You thought "The Dirt" was a rock 'n' roll book? Trust me, you ain't heard nothing yet...

BS: So let's start at the beginning - how did you end up joining Zodiac Mindwarp & The Love Reaction?

I was eighteen when I joined the Love Reaction. At the time I was living in my hometown of Swansea and when I left school at sixteen, all I wanted to do was leave school and be on the dole with all my mates. Then the Tories stopped the dole and brought in this thing called the "Job Creation Scheme" which meant that you could get fifty quid a week if you could get a thousand quid to start a business. So I borrowed a thousand quid off my dad and started a record label just so I could get fifty quid a week off the government! It was called Fierce Recordings and I ran it with my mate Steve Gregory. Some of the bands we put out in the early days were Sonic Youth before they were famous and the Pooh-Sticks which was Steve's band. So it was basically two teenagers running a record label out of Steve's basement in Swansea. It was about this time I became friends with Youth who'd just left Killing Joke at the time and started a new band called Brilliant who were on Warner Brothers and managed by David Balfe. They were actually the first band on Food. One day I ended up going to see Dave because Youth had just made this ill-advised pre-techno record and Dave wanted the rights to it because he'd paid for it even though it was rubbish. While I was in there, I noticed this big pile of 12" records in the corner which was the "Wild Child" EP which was really just Zodiac on his own with some session musicians. I asked Dave who it was and he said "Oh, it's the new guy on my label" and gave me a copy which I listened to and really liked. Then about a week later I was talking to Youth because I was helping to put his record out and he said that he was playing bass for Zodiac but couldn't do both bands anymore so Zodiac was currently looking for a bass player. So I wrote to him and Balfe called me and said "Zodiac wants to know if you want to come and try out for the band." So I went up to their recording studios in October 1985 and I played for about five minutes incredibly loud and he said "Okay, you're in the band". Then Dave said I'd have to move up from Swansea the next week and the first gig was a week after that!

Dave was living in Dalston at the time and he'd just broken up with his girlfriend so he needed a lodger to keep up the rent. So I ended up moving in with him - in the space of two weeks I went from being this really naive valley boy sitting in my local in Swansea having a pint of Brains with all the old boys to being the bass player with Zodiac Mindwarp and the Love Reaction and Balfe taking me out to parties every night with people like Madness and going to parties at Suggs' house - it was a pretty amazing time. And the rest is history - we toiled around in bars for three months with everyone laughing at us then suddenly we were on magazine covers all over the place and that was that.



BS: Were the Love Reaction really as nuts in the early days as the legend suggests?

Yes, in a word. If you've seen the "Pandora's Grisly Handbag" DVD, that really shows how it was. We were like the Stooges a lot in that we only knew about three chords between us - it was insane. But it was incredible, I mean I would always say that my proudest achievement in rock was the "Nobody Said It Was Easy" album but the most fun I had was definitely with Zodiac Mindwarp.



BS: You left the Love Reaction just as "Tattooed Beat Messiah" was being recorded to join the Cult - how did that come about?

We got a £600,000 advance from Phonogram which, by 1986 standards was a LOT of money and we basically proceeded to spend it at an astounding rate. We went to the Manor Studios to record the album with Steve Brown who'd done the Cult's "Love" album which is how I met them. The thing is, there was always friction between Zodiac and me - he was 28 years old to my 18 at the time and it was his band, I'd never take any credit for anything in the Love Reaction back then apart from maybe adding a little bit of agitation around the edges. But what happened is that he worked hard and got famous - I mean we all got famous but I think Zodiac got a bit carried away and he wasn't willing to tolerate any other ideas. And when the money started running out and we still hadn't made the record, people started asking "Well, what do we do now?" I mean we basically had one song which we'd written in about 85 different keys and I was like "Can we write a new one now?" and it turned out that wasn't really gonna happen either. I saw the end coming, let's just put it that way.



BS: How did you find touring the "Electric" album with the Cult just as they were starting to break America?

It was crazy. I basically stepped straight out of the meteoric rise of Zodiac Mindwarp and into the meteoric rise of the Cult. It was a different situation, I mean I was never really "in" the Cult. One thing that I didn't really realise until I joined the band was that the Cult was only ever really two guys - Ian Astbury and Billy Duffy. I mean, maybe everybody else knew that but I didn't. But I did get on really well with Rick Rubin who was producing the "Electric" album. The two of us were both card-carrying members of the Bon Scott fan club and that's how we bonded. The first day I met Rick, I walked down the stairs to the Electric Lady recording studios in New York and the rest of the Cult were there with long flowing robes on and there's me walking in wearing Doc Martens, jeans and an AC/DC T-shirt and Rick was like "Hey mate!".

I actually did play on some of that album but I wasn't allowed to be credited because me and Balfe had fallen out over me leaving the Love Reaction and he threatened to sue. It kind of became apparent very quickly that I was interested in something very different to what the Cult were doing - I was in the band for almost exactly a year, I joined in January 1987 and left in December and did the whole "Electric" tour but by July, I was already talking to Rick about forming the Four Horsemen. Obviously I wasn't declaring that out loud but I could kind of see my future wasn't going in the same way as theirs was.



BS: The sleevenotes to "Electric" say that there was a lot of friction on that tour between Ian and Billy over the former's behaviour - is there any truth in that?

I think the drinking had a lot to do with it. I mean, people always talk about drug abuse in rock bands but that wasn't the case with the Cult, it was all booze, I mean we're talking tankers' worth here. I mean, I think the thing that made the Cult great was the friction between Billy and Ian because they're two such different people. Billy's the cool calculated businessman while Ian's the classic frontman nutter. Same as Zodiac is. I mean, you can't invent frontmen, they either are or they aren't. You can see the ones that want to be and aren't and the ones that are are always a bit unhinged. And while Ian's unhingedness is what made the Cult great, I think it exasperated Billy.

BS: So early 1988, you linked up with Rick to put the Four Horsemen together. How did you end up finding the rest of the band?

Well, while I was still in the Cult, Rick was always telling me I should just form a band. I mean, I was still just 20 years old at the time and I certainly didn't know at the time that Def Jam was about to split apart and he was gonna form Def American.  Anyway, what happened was we both knew there was no point trying to form a band without a singer and Rick kept telling me about this guy he knew out in LA who was a headcase and if I met him I had to talk to him. So I was in the Rainbow Bar & Grill on Sunset Strip one Saturday night having dinner with Rick, James Hetfield and Glen Danzig, I mean this is before Metallica broke big and before Danzig had even formed - Glen was still in Samhain who Rick was producing at the time. Suddenly we heard this big commotion in the car park and a guy yelling "Yeah! I kicked his ass!" And that was Frank. He had this big mushroom style haircut and he was wearing brown corduroy flares and had blood all down his T-shirt. And I didn't know this at the time but he was the singer in this terrible hair metal band called SIN. Anyway Rick waved him over and Frank was not remotely impressed by the company on the table that night. Rick was like "This is Frank Starr" and Frank's like "No, it's Frank C Starr!" Then he lifts this blood-spattered T-shirt up and on his back there's a hand-poked prison tattoo which you can see a picture of on the back of the first Horsemen EP. Anyway, Rick says "Frank, this is Haggis, he's in the Cult right now but he's getting a new band together and you're the singer." Frank's like "Do I get paid?" and Rick's like "Yeah, you'll get paid." So we shook hands on it there and then.

Then after I quit the Cult at the end of '87, I moved to LA and that's where I met Dimwit who was Chuck Biscuits from Danzig's brother. Apparently he was being lined up to play drums for Slayer after Dave Lombardo quit but Rick played him "Reign In Blood" down the phone and he said it was the worst shit he'd ever heard! So he came down from Vancouver to LA to meet me and Rick and my first memory of him is that he had the greasiest most disgusting hair I'd ever seen. And he was huge, about 6'5 and also had a hand-poked prison tattoo, one of the Black Sabbath crucifix logo. And then from there we found Dave and Ben and that was the five of us. So it was really just a case of Rick overseeing things while I did my own thing but I couldn't have put together that band without Rick. I mean I didn't have the connections, I was just living in this rarefied world of being a rock star.



BS: You got the first EP out in 1989 and then Frank got sent to prison for two years which put the album back until 1991, is that right?

Me and Dave always have a good laugh about this, it's like "Do we really want to ruin the legends and myths about this group?" The truth is that Frank went to jail on a number of occasions when I knew him. Once was when his he'd just dug a swimming pool in his back garden which was really just this big red mudhole and his next door neighbour was pissing him off and he started firing a shotgun over the fence into the guy's yard which led to a SWAT squad turning up and taking him away. Then there was the time he bodyslammed a guy through the pie counter at Denny's on Sunset Strip or the time a guy rear-ended him on the freeway near LA and he pulled a two-foot length of scaffold pole out and beat the guy with it. Those are just three examples but basically, Frank was always getting in trouble with the law. But that's the thing about him - he was the real deal. Nearly all the frontmen I've worked with have been singers first, nutters second. Frank was just a nutter who didn't really care about being a singer, I mean he could've made more money doing other things. He actually managed a porn shop when I first met him and just after he joined the band we all went there. The place was in the middle of this really bad neighbourhood in LA and he was telling us how this "Pulsating Pussy" sex toy worked really great if you put extra batteries in it because it made it go double speed! He also worked as a bouncer at this brothel which was supposed to be a hotel but it was really all just a front. I dunno if that technically made him a pimp but there you go. Anyway, we said to him "Frank, you're always borrowing money off us because you're broke yet you've got enough money to buy a Pulsating Pussy". He just said "No, I just borrowed it from the stock, washed it out when I'd finished with it and put it back on the shelf!"

Frank really was a one-off. The nearest equivalent I can really think of is when I met a guy called Dave McCracken who used to produce Ian Brown's albums and he was telling me all these stories about the Happy Mondays when they were at their peak of their craziness. He was saying that the thing that made them so scary was that they really WERE drug-dealers and nutcases who just happened to be in a band as well. That was Frank in a nutshell. We'd have to go and get him to take him to rehearsal and we'd find him pistol-whipping someone in the lobby of this brothel. He had an apartment there and it was the first room down the corridor. Whenever we'd go and visit him, every time he heard a noise outside he'd jump up, grab his pistol and go see who it was. We actually filmed the video for the single "Nobody Said It Was Easy" at that brothel - what a lot of people don't know is that there's a second uncensored version of that video which we left off the "Left For Dead" DVD which actually has Frank getting a blowjob from one of the whores at the brothel including him coming in her face. Then he executes her in the shower which is obviously fake. The only reason we didn't put it on the DVD is because Frank has a daughter who's about twenty now and we didn't want her friends at college to see that and bring it up with her.

But yeah, Frank was always in trouble. So we ended up having to make the album in two halves either side of him serving a six-month jail sentence in late 1990 and early 1991. But altogether it took about three days to record. Slayer were actually making their "Seasons In The Abyss" album in the studio next door to us and Rick was producing both albums. So at the end of the title track when you hear all these people cheering and clapping, that's actually Slayer!



BS: The record got good press but didn't sell well, why do you think that was?

It was being primed to be a huge record and we really thought it would be. Everyone asked us why it didn't happen and there's two reasons really. Firstly we were a bunch of nutters who were far more interested in being nutters than doing what we were told. The other thing is we made a really bad choice with our manager because he was also looking after the Black Crowes who were on the same label as us. The Crowes had just finished touring their first album "Shake Your Moneymaker" and he just assumed they would go away for a couple of years to do their second album and he'd be able to concentrate on us as we were just gearing up to tour "Nobody Said It Was Easy". What happened of course is that the Crowes got their second album done in six weeks and just as our record was starting to take off they basically called him back in to work with them. I think it'd be arrogant of me to say they were worried about how successful our record was because they'd just sold six million copies of their own record but I think they were worried about us maybe having a more authentic sound than they did. I'm not criticising the Crowes but there was always a funny atmosphere between us and them. Not least because Frank really didn't like Chris Robinson and frequently threatened to kill him. And Chris knew Frank really could do that. So it became a really awkward situation and the management often had to keep us apart. And we really suffered because of that. I'm really not moaning or complaining about that - I mean obviously they were the priority band on the label for a good reason and it probably wouldn't have mattered if we hadn't been such a bunch of dysfunctional psychopaths who were hellbent on destroying our own career simultaneously. So it was just a combination of events.



BS: You made an unreleased second album "Daylight Again" which didn't have Frank on it and has just seen the light of day now - what's the story there?

The basic reason the Four Horsemen broke up is that I was sick of Frank. I was about 23 by this point so still pretty green really. Basically, I forgot that Frank was a nutter who happened to be a great singer while I was the songwriter in a rock band who was just mildly dysfunctional. So I would have these earnest conversations with Frank saying "Listen mate, you're fucking this up, you need to start taking care of your voice etc etc" but it was like telling Ronnie Kray to behave himself because the neighbours were getting scared of him - it was pointless. With hindsight it was regrettable because I wasn't smart enough to see what was really going on - all I knew was that it seemed to me like he was fucking it up so we just ended up fighting and arguing all the time and it ended with me breaking the band up. Then I met some other guys and I ended playing and writing songs with them in New York while Frank was in LA. Then Dave came out and played guitar on it and Les Warner who'd been the Cult's drummer when I'd been with them and had also since been fired by them came along to help. Then our singer was a guy who'd played harmonica on some of the "Nobody Said It Was Easy" out-takes. So we just made this record, basically because I wanted to - we didn't know if the classic Horsemen line-up was gonna get back together at the time. I wasn't too keen on putting it out but when we did the re-issues, Dave was like "You know what, fuck it, people might as well get the chance to hear it." So it was basically a stop-gap between "Nobody Said It Was Easy" and "Gettin' Pretty Good At Barely Gettin' By" which I wasn't involved with. So if you look at the chronology, it's the EP and the album which both have the original band on them, then it's "Daylight Again" with me and Dave then Dave got back with Frank and did "Gettin' Pretty Good..." which I had nothing to do with. I'd left the music industry by that point, basically I didn't want anything more to do with it.



BS: What did you think of "Gettin' Pretty Good At Barely Gettin' By"?

Dave sent it to me and we've talked about it since. He was pretty nervous but I thought some of that album was pretty fantastic. I mean, all the reviews I've read of that record say that it's basically a facsimile of the first one but not as good and I think even Dave would say that's true. The biggest regret I had on hearing that record was what a complete and total control freak I'd been. Because that record is very much Dave's album and it shows what a talented guy he is. I never restricted his guitar playing in the Horsemen - every note is his thing on the EP and the first album because I can't play lead to save my life. But I heard all these great ideas for songs on that record and I realised he must've had a lot of great ideas for the band which I never really let happen. Because you see I'd got used to Zodiac being such a control freak in the Love Reaction and then Billy being such a control freak in the Cult. So I used to jokingly refer to myself as Billy Mindwarp in the early days of the Horsemen but the biggest joke was that I had nothing to do with the Four Horsemen Mark 2. And Dave always jokes that back in the early days he hated me for being such a control freak who wouldn't let him contribute any ideas but when the band reformed to do "Gettin' Pretty Good..." it was him who became the really horrible control freak. I think the moral of the story is that every band needs a horrible control freak at the top unfortunately.



BS: The band disbanded in 1997 after Frank's motorcycle accident and Dimwit OD'ing. Did you say you were through with music by this time?

Pretty much. There was a band from Leeds called Spacehog who needed a guitarist. Three of them were British but they had an American guitar player and they wanted a British one. So I filled in for them for a few months while they were looking for a record deal but that was never gonna be a long term thing. I think that was about 1994 or so. After that, I had very little to do with the music industry. I got into rock climbing and spent nine years travelling around the world doing that. Then I'm ashamed to admit I ended up joining Goldman Sachs teaching rock climbing to their employees at the company gym and I'm even more ashamed to admit I really enjoyed it because it was basically an obscene amount of money for very little work! I just sat on the ground yelling at big fat flatulent bankers what they were doing wrong! But I did meet some good people there, usually the programmers at the company who were a lot easier to get on with. Then 9-11 happened and while I wasn't there that day, the office that I worked in was destroyed so I spent a lot of time volunteering at Ground Zero afterwards. And it made me think a lot - I'd never really done any studying since I was sixteen and left school and after that I decided that I'd go back and study. And a lot of the guys I was tecahing rock climbing to were former Eastern Bloc physicists and mathematicians who had become programmers for Goldman Sachs. So I'd be giving them rock climbing lessons and they'd be teaching me all about physics and maths. So I went back to school and now I'm in medical school training to be a doctor.

BS: You also put a solo album out in 2002...

Yeah, I did that album with a friend of mine called Francis Dunnery who used to be the lead singer with It Bites and played guitar with Robert Plant on one of his solo albums. I was actually writing a book at the time and he suggested I should make it into an album so it ended up becoming this weird folky acoustic album which some people said sounded like Nick Drake and some people said sounded like some guy just mumbling. But it was a very cathartic thing although we did get some Horsemen fans saying "What the fuck's this?" It's very hard for me to talk about that record because it was just me and Francis making it so I've not really got any perspective on it but it got a lot of good press outside the world of the Four Horsemen.

BS: You've just completed the Four Horsemen re-issue programme - how did that go?

We had a great time. Dave's a real life collector so he had all this stuff stored away and we decided with the 21st anniversary of the band coming up we should put it out there. The EP was the most important thing for me - I thought the original mastering of it sounded really horrible so we decided to have a go at re-mastering it. Then we found all these demos lying about, then I wanted to re-release "Nobody Said It Was Easy" then Dave said we should really put out the "Daylight Again" demos. Later this year, we're gonna put out a re-release of "Gettin' Pretty Good..." with a bunch of new live tracks from the last few shows the band did with Frank and Dim just before the album came out. We've also got a second live DVD coming out to go with "Left For Dead" called "Death Before Suck-Ass" which is one some fans shot of us doing a big arena show supporting Lynyrd Skynyrd back in the "Nobody Said It Was Easy" era. A lot of fans have sent us in bootlegs in as well so that'll probably form a big part of it. We've also got Ben in to do the artwork for it and I'm really looking forward to seeing it come out.



As we finish the interview, Haggis mentions he'll be back in the country again in a few weeks if I fancy meeting up again and I'm quick to agree. What can I say, in the last four years or so of writing for "Bubblegum Slut" this has to be one of the best interviews I've ever had the privilege to do - not only is Haggis a thoroughly decent chap but also a man who, as you've just read, has got more than his fair share of stories about the world of rock 'n' roll. You can find the re-issued Four Horsemen back catalogue online at www.thefourhorsemen.com and I strongly suggest you go and check them out. In the meantime, cheers mate, it was an absolute pleasure.

Wednesday 5 August 2015

Premiership Predictions 2015-16

So, fourth and final part of this season's footy predictions and it's the big one - the Premiership. I can't honestly see much changing at the top of the table this season. Chelsea won the Premiership with games to spare last season and should do so again given the quality of their squad. The most interesting thing might be just below them where Arsenal appear to be well placed to usurp second place from a Manchester City side that only really performed in fits and starts last season. City's signing of Fabian Delph could be a shrewd one but £50m for a player as inconsistent as Raheem Sterling? Sorry Manuel, not convinced...

Manchester United are in a similar state of flux as their cross city rivals but will probably have to settle for fourth place again. With several rumoured comings and goings, United need to get their house in order before they can mount a serious title challenge. Maybe in 2017?

Spurs are unlikely to challenge for the top four but should hold off an inconsistent Liverpool to retain fifth place. Liverpool have a promising signing in Christian Benteke but Anfield has become something of a graveyard for once-promising strikers in recent years and the former Villa hitman will need his wits about him to buck the trend.

Southampton did well to finish seventh again last season following the mass exodus of the previous summer and another top half finish should be well within their reach but the added distraction of a Europa League campaign could open the door for Everton or Swansea to sneakily nip past them.

Several pundits seem to be tipping Leicester for the drop but I actually think the appointment of Claudio Ranieri could be quite a shrewd one. If they can get a good start going they could even shock a few people by getting a top half finish.

Stoke and Crystal Palace should both do their usual mid-table thing barring a disaster while West Ham are in for a transitional season following Sam Allardyce's departure and Slavan Bilic's arrival. I predict a slow start but a late run to take them to safety with a few games to spare.

Sunderland need to build on the late run they had last season to avoid another relegation dogfight while West Brom won't be pretty to watch under Tony Pulis but he'll get the job done as always.

So...the dreaded drop zone then. It'd be easy to tip the three relegated clubs to go straight back down but I actually only see that happening to one of them, namely Watford who I just don't think have the stability to survive. Norwich, however, have been here before quite recently and with a lot of the squad from two seasons ago still intact they should have a better idea of what's needed to stay up this time around. Bournemouth, meanwhile, will run things close to the wire but if Eddie Howe can keep that team spirit going they should be safe.

All of which leaves Aston Villa and Newcastle as the other two clubs in the bottom three. Newcastle had an awful second half of last season going from 6th in November to 17th in April and the arrival of Steve McClaren, sacked by Derby after their late season collapse in the Championship, doesn't strike me as the sort of appointment to turn things around there. Add to this the departure of top scorer Yohan Cabaye to Crystal Palace and it looks like it could be a long hard season on Tyneside. Similarly, although Villa did well to pull themselves out of a tailspin under Tim Sherwood later in the season, the departures of top scorer Christian Benteke and chief goal creator Fabian Delph in the space of a few days is a serious hammer blow for them. Sherwood will have to hope that he's uncovered an unexpected gem in his raft of signings this summer or after several years of walking between the raindrops this could be the season that Villa finally end up on the wrong side of the line.

ANDY'S PREDICTIONS

1. Chelsea
----------------------------------
2. Arsenal
3. Manchester City
----------------------------------
4. Manchester United
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
5. Tottenham Hotspur
6. Liverpool
----------------------------------
7. Everton
8. Southampton
9. Swansea City
10. Leicester City
11. Stoke
12. Crystal Palace
13. West Ham
14. Sunderland
15. West Brom
16. Norwich City
17. Bournemouth
----------------------------------
18. Aston Villa
19. Watford
20. Newcastle United

Tuesday 4 August 2015

Championship Predictions 2015-16

The Championship is always a difficult one to predict. It's usually the case that of the 24 clubs in it, about 18 of them will be in the hunt for the play-offs or higher at some point. So really you might as well throw a dart into a wall as try to make these predictions. But hey, it's a dirty job but someone's gotta do it...

Brentford for the Premiership? It could happen. With last season's run taking them all the way to the play-offs and some eye catching big money signings over the summer, there's nothing to suggest that Chelsea may be facing a West London derby at Griffin Park rather than Loftus Road or Craven Cottage in 2016-17.

Middlesbrough were desperately unlucky not to get promoted last time around and will be giving things another go but the departure of striker Patrick Bamford to Crystal Palace could hurt them. They're currently being linked with a move for Blackburn's Jordan Rhodes and whether or not that comes off could be the difference between automatic promotion and another tilt at the dreaded play-offs.

Derby missed out last time around but despite hiring an untested manager in English football in Steve Clement, they've made some eye catching signings that suggest failure is not going to be tolerated again. Well in with a shout of a Top 2 place.

Looking at last season's relegated clubs, Hull and Burnley should both be well in with a shout of a play-off place but QPR's financial demons mean I can't see them finishing above halfway. Also in with a shout at the Top 6 are Wolves and Cardiff, both of whom finished strongly last season. Ipswich did well to make the play-offs with a very small budget last season but they now face a challenge to keep that squad together which makes me a bit hesitant about predicting them to do the same again this season. Bristol City, winners of League One at a canter last time out, could well be up there challenging again but I think upper mid-table is more likely.

Certain clubs you can almost guarantee will be finishing in the mid-table area - Charlton, Sheffield Wednesday and Birmingham all have the capability to string a set of results together and challenge for the play-offs but are more likely to finish around the halfway mark. Reading struggled last season but with a bit of tweaking they should be okay this time around. Last season's Championship runners-up Preston will be keen to make sure they consolidate at this level and should be good with a lower mid-table finish.

Looking at the wrong end of the table, MK Dons are likely to find the going very tough at this level. Matthew Upson will at least add some experience to their defence but he doesn't represent the future and they may be facing an instant return from whence they came. Rotherham scraped home by the skin of their teeth last season and with two promoted clubs looking capable of finishing above them they may not be so lucky this time around. Likewise Fulham flattered to deceive for a lot of the previous campaign and with changes at board level, a lack of money and players leaving, they may well be returning to their spiritual home of the lower leagues in 2016. Leeds' continuing off-field pantomime won't do them any favours, Brighton struggled last season and look likely to do so again while Nottingham Forest fell away alarmingly in the second half of last season and desperately need to halt their slide. Other potential strugglers include Huddersfield and Bolton who both need to avoid a bad start to keep their heads above water while Blackburn could be in serious danger if they lose Jordan Rhodes before the end of the transfer window.

ANDY'S PREDICTIONS

1. Brentford
2. Derby
------------------------------
3. Middlesbrough
4. Hull City
5. Wolves
6. Burnley
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
7. Cardiff
8. Ipswich
9. Bristol City
10. Charlton
11. Sheffield Wednesday
12. Reading
13. QPR
14. Birmingham
15. Preston
16. Blackburn
17. Huddersfield
18. Brighton
19. Nottingham Forest
20. Bolton
21. Leeds
------------------------------
22. Fulham
23. Rotherham
24. MK Dons

Tomorrow - the big one! It's Premiership predictions time!

Monday 3 August 2015

League One Predictions 2015-16

Disclaimer time first - please bear in mind that my knowledge of Division 3 (as I still call it) isn't everything it could be as it's a good three years now since Pools were relegated from it. But anyway, here's how I see it this season...

It surely has to be Sheffield United's time this season doesn't it? There's only so many near misses that a club that size can have before they finally get promoted. Nigel Adkins looks a sound appointment as manager and he should finally guide the Blades back to the promised land of the Championship. Unless I've just jinxed them yet again...

Beyond that, no-one really sticks out. It'd be easy to say Swindon or Wigan but I get the impression Swindon might find the going a bit tougher after their near miss last time out. Wigan, meanwhile, won't enjoy the rough and tumble of League One (as a Leeds supporting friend of mine used to say, it's not referred to by bigger clubs slumming it down there as the "Are you looking at me? ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME?" League for nothing) and I think they may end up just outside the play-offs before regrouping and giving promotion a serious tilt next season.

Fellow relegatees (is that a word? Bugger it, it is now) Millwall might be a safer bet. A good run at the tail end of last season wasn't quite enough to keep them up but if they can pick themselves up quickly then they should be up challenging. My choice for second place though is Bradford who have slowly been improving each season and with a few canny signings this summer they may well be ones to watch this time around.

Another less than fashionable club on the up are Rochdale who narrowly missed the play-offs last time around and could well go one better this season. Peterborough have flattered to deceive the last couple of seasons but if they can get themselves together this time around then there's no reason they can't make the top six while if Tony Mowbray can work his magic at Coventry, they could be a surprise package. Doncaster could be another outside bet but they'll need to find a bit more consistency than they managed last season. Chesterfield did brilliantly to make the play-offs last time around but the departure of manager Paul Cook, the mastermind behind their meteoric rise, to Portsmouth is likely to hurt them badly meaning a mid-table finish is more likely this time around.

At the other end of the table, where do you even start with Blackpool? Relegated by a mile last season, total chaos both on and off the pitch, it's difficult to foresee anything other than a long cold winter at Bloomfield Road this season. Colchester have been down among the dead men for a couple of years now and I suspect their luck may just run out this season, ditto Crewe who've left it until very late to secure safety in the last couple of campaigns. Burton did well to win League Two at a canter last season but their chances this time around rest massively on keeping Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink as manager. Even if they manage to resist a bigger club swooping for him, they're very much in uncharted territory this season and their lack of experience could well prove their undoing.

Fleetwood overachieved massively last season and, like Stevenage and Crawley before them, could find the going a lot more difficult this time around. Unlikely to be relegated but will be closer to the bottom four than the top six. Walsall and Oldham both managed mid-table last time around but both need a good start to avoid a relegation dogfight as do Port Vale whose squad should have just enough quality to ensure safety. Scunthorpe look set for another season of struggle but the signing of Luke Williams could be vital to give them the goals to stay up.

Phil Brown's experience should be enough to ensure Southend aren't massively worried about an instant return to Division 4 while fellow promoted clubs Shrewsbury and Bury both have enough quality to ensure mid-table security. Which just leaves Barnsley and Gillingham, both of whom finished midway last season and look likely to do so again barring a sudden upturn or downturn in form.

ANDY'S PREDICTIONS

1. Sheffield United
2. Bradford
-------------------------------
3. Millwall
4. Peterborough
5. Rochdale
6. Coventry
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
7. Swindon
8. Wigan
9. Doncaster
10. Barnsley
11. Shrewsbury
12. Gillingham
13. Bury
14. Chesterfield
15. Port Vale
16. Southend
17. Oldham
18. Fleetwood
19. Walsall
20. Scunthorpe
-------------------------------
21. Burton
22. Crewe
23. Blackpool
24. Colchester

Tomorrow: The Championship...

Sunday 2 August 2015

League Two Predictions 2015-16 (plus a few words on the Conference)

So I've been a bit lax on this thing of late. However, I've decided that as of now on I'm gonna start making a bit more of an effort with it. There's plenty of times where I've had an idea for something regarding a blog but have never got round to committing it to the site. Bear with me because I'm gonna do my best to try and put things right.

Hopefully in the days and weeks ahead I should have a few things coming up be they on music, politics, life in general or whatever. But seeing as we've got a new season coming up, I thought I'd start by taking a look at what might be unfolding in the world of football over the next nine months.

So today I'm gonna start with League Two. Which is probably the division I'm best placed to comment on as I support a team that's in that division...just. More on that later.

Looking at the top of the table, I'm gonna go with the bookies and say that this will be Portsmouth's season. They've flattered to deceive the last few years but this time they've got a new manager in Paul Cook who knows the division well and has been promoted out of it before with Chesterfield. With some useful looking new signings, I think Pompey will be the team to beat this season.

Notts County and Yeovil have both rebuilt their squads extensively following relegation last season and should be up there challenging this time around. Plymouth have been slowly improving the last few years and will fancy their chances as well while Bristol Rovers, having bounced back from the Conference at the first attempt, may well be in the hunt if they can keep that forward momentum going.

My dark horse is Cambridge who've been spending big this summer. If those signings can gel, they could be a surprise package. I think Luton's best chance at getting promoted may have come and gone last season but they could be in the hunt again if they don't suffer another late collapse during the run-in. Wycombe did unbelievably well last season but I think they may be hard-pushed to repeat those heroics although they should still comfortably manage a top half finish. Stevenage made the play-offs last season but the appointment of an untried Teddy Sheringham as manager is a very risky one and I think they'll do well to repeat that performance.

At the other end, most of the clubs who were in relegation trouble last season seem to have learned their lessons and have rebuilt extensively - Dagenham and York both pulled away from the drop zone well before the season's end and should be much more comfortable this time around while Mansfield's investment in a massive fifteen new signings should ensure they don't suffer any of last season's nerves. For me, the two clubs who could be in real trouble are Oxford and Leyton Orient. Oxford managed to pull together a few points to move away from the drop zone last season but a lot of key players have since been sold and not replaced and that could spell trouble. Orient, meanwhile, have a pantomime going on behind the scenes with an unpopular board and players bailing out at an alarming rate following relegation and, as Tranmere showed last time around, it's very easy to plummet straight through League Two if you underestimate it.

Other likely strugglers include Carlisle who only just scraped home last season but they should have the physicality to batter their way to safety. Accrington seem to be tipped for the drop every season but always scrape home in the end and this season will probably be no exception while Wimbledon have at least managed to fend off interest in top scorer Ade Akinfenwa and his goals should keep them afloat.

Elsewhere, Northampton could be an outside bet but I think there's just a few too many better teams than them for them to make the play-offs. Exeter, Morecambe and Newport all did well to finish in the top half last season but may find it difficult to repeat those heights this time around. Barnet won the Conference in style last season but may have to settle for mid-table this time around while Crawley have undergone a huge squad overhaul following relegation and will do well to finish above halfway.

All of which just leaves my own team, Hartlepool. With ten players released and eleven coming in, it's safe to say that this is a very different team from the one that pulled off the great escape last season and a lot's going to depend on how those new signings gel. However, in Ronnie Moore we've got a manager who's tried and tested at this level and his experience will probably prove invaluable. Final prediction? Heart says third, head says mid-table with a promotion push in 2016-17.

ANDY'S PREDICTIONS

1. Portsmouth
2. Notts County
3. Yeovil
-----------------------------
4. Plymouth
5. Bristol Rovers
6. Luton
7. Cambridge
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
8. Wycombe
9. Northampton
10. Dagenham
11. York
12. Hartlepool
13. Mansfield
14. Stevenage
15. Newport
16. Barnet
17. Exeter
18. Crawley
19. Morecambe
20. Wimbledon
21. Accrington
22. Carlisle
-----------------------------
23. Leyton Orient
24. Oxford

As it kind of has a bearing on League Two, I s'pose I should include some words on the Conference as well. It's rare for a relegated club to bounce back at the first attempt although Bristol Rovers managed it last season. For my money, I think Tranmere will make the play-offs but I think Cheltenham may just miss out.

Looking at last season's play-off teams, it's tempting to pick Grimsby but there's a long tradition of losing play-off finalists suffering a Wembley hangover the following season and unfortunately I think they'll be no exception. Eastleigh have the money to spare but with talk of their chairman potentially bailing out to head a takeover at Oxford (which is going to make my prediction for them to be relegated look a bit stupid if it happens) it could be too much of a distraction. Forest Green will almost certainly be in the reckoning again but I just can't bring myself to tip a rich man's plaything team with home attendances of 1,000 or so to get into the League (see also Fleetwood, Crawley et al). In a similar boat financially but with a bit more history behind them are Barrow who won the Conference North this season and are hoping their money can end a 40+ year exile from the League.

So who am I tipping then? Well as a Poolie, my ideal choice would be Gateshead as it'd give us the local derby we've been missing since Darlington went bust a few years ago but I think they may struggle to repeat their heroics of two years ago. It'd be nice to see Guiseley, where I lived for my childhood, do something but although I reckon they'll stay up, I can't see them challenging. More likely among the Yorkshire clubs are Halifax who I think stand a good chance at a play-off tilt. So my choice is gonna be Wrexham. They've got a load of new players and a skilled new manager in Gary Mills and I reckon they should end their exile with the Conference championship this year.

CHAMPIONS: Wrexham
PLAY-OFFS: Forest Green, Tranmere, Halifax, Barrow

Tomorrow, it's a look at League One so tune in...