"Return of the Incredible Hulk" (not to be confused with "The Incredible Hulk Returns", the Hulk/Thor crossover which came ten years later) was the pilot episode of the first series of the TV show, broadcast in early 1978 (under the title "Death In The Family"). It also received limited cinema release abroad making it eligible for this blog. We reviewed the original pilot feature (which was released separately in late '77) on here a few weeks ago and it was decent enough for its time so let's see if this one has held up similarly well.
Following the events in San Diego which saw him transformed into the Hulk and led to the death of his research partner (and sort-of love interest) Elaina Marks, David Banner has hitch-hiked up the freeway to northern California where he has heard rumours of a new state of the art radiation treatment centre opened at a hospital in a small town called Everett. However, on his way into town, Banner encounters a young girl on crutches, Juliet, visiting her father's grave who suddenly collapses. He carries her back to her home where her stepmother Margaret is waiting for her.
Margaret thanks Banner for saving Juliet and offers him a job as a groundsman at the family's country home. According to Margaret, Juliet suffers from a rare degenerative medical condition which has caused her to lose the use of her legs and she regularly needs to be given painkilling medication. However, on leaving the house, Banner notices that the medication she's being given is red instead of clear as it should be. He enquires about this with Juliet's nurse but she simply tells him to leave.
David takes up his job on the farm and becomes friends with Juliet who tells him that she is the only surviving member of her family as her mother died when she was seventeen and her father died after his boat exploded on the nearby swamp a year or so ago. However, he's interrupted by the arrival of her GP, Dr Bonifant, who prescribes her some more of the dodgy medicine. Banner quickly raises this with Margaret and she promises she'll look into it.
In truth, however, Margaret is the one behind the plot - the "medicine" is actually slowly poisoning Juliet so that she can claim the estate when she dies. Her and Bonifant discuss the situation and decide to get Denny, Juliet's boyfriend and the head groundsman on site, to get rid of David by telling him that they've caught Banner trying to chat up Juliet. Um, hold on a sec, if Margaret is so keen to off Juliet then why did she offer Banner a job in the first place for rescuing her? Plot hole alert...
Denny and two of his henchmen head down to David's hut and tell him to hit the bricks, saying that the family has let him go. When he demands to speak to Margaret they decide to rough him up a bit and...well, we all know how that usually ends. Suffice to say that Denny ends up in the hospital after the Hulk smashes out the banners in the hut causing the landing to fall on his head!
Having dispatched the goons, the Hulk does a runner into the forest at the edge of the grounds where a local moonshine-swilling hobo called Michael takes him in for the night after he changes back into Banner. Once he's recovered and got some new clothes off Michael, David sets off into town to find the hospital to get some answers. Elsewhere, his longtime nemesis Jack McGee has shown up in town after sightings of the Hulk were reported but his attempts to interview Denny are fruitless as the guy's still out for the count after the battering he took from the Hulk.
After visiting Denny and scoping out the radiation lab after disguising himself using a lab coat (and the award for most gullible radiation machine operator goes to...), David sneaks into Bonifant's office and discovers that he's been forging X-rays to make Juliet's problem with her legs look a lot worse than they actually are. He's interrupted by the doctor himself returning to his office along with Margaret where they discuss Juliet's condition - apparently her condition is psychosomatic but by injecting her with the poison, Bonifant has made it become a reality and one more dose of the poison will kill her.
Banner escapes after Bonifant and Margaret leave but then runs into them going back up the corridor. He escapes to the mansion in Bonifant's car and attempts to persuade Juliet to come with him but she doesn't believe his story and whacks him on the side of the head with a metal jug which causes him to Hulk out. Having barricaded the door against Juliet's nurse who's trying to get in, the Hulk grabs her, jumps out of the window and escapes.
Hulk eventually reverts back to being Banner and explains the story to Juliet a bit more calmly. Realising that she's been tricked by her family, Juliet agrees to go with him to the nearest ranger's office so they head up into the hills to Michael's shack. Initially he's reticient to come with them, even when Juliet recognises him as the man who saved her from the boat explosion that killed her father. He explains that the ranger's office is seven miles away and they'll have to cross the swamp to get there. Eventually though, feeling a pang of guilt, Michael decides to go with them and catches up just as David's about to collapse with exhaustion from carrying Juliet.
The second half of the film basically covers Banner, Juliet and Michael crossing the swamp and is a bit drawn out and dull to be honest although it does include a really bizarre sequence involving the Hulk fighting a bear who attempts to attack the party in the marshes!
As Banner de-Hulks, Michael is bitten by a rattlesnake and Juliet ends up having to apply a tourniquet and suck out the venom. With Margaret's goons hot on their trail, Michael offers to stay behind as he'll only hold the other two of them up. He evades capture by diving under the swamp and breathing through a reed when the goons and their dogs turn up.
Banner and Juliet eventually reach the other side of the swamp but Banner ends up sinking in quicksand and the shock makes him Hulk out. Juliet manages to stand up with the poison now having left her system and grab a branch to help him escape. The two goons on foot end up sinking in the swamp while a third who tries to apprehend them in a gyrocopter crashes when the Hulk takes out his rear propeller by throwing a tree stump at it!
The trio reconvene at the hospital where we find out that Margaret and Boniface have been arrested and their goons thrown in jail. Michael has been given a room at the mansion and Juliet extends the offer to Banner but he says it's too dangerous as the possibility of the Hulk appearing and wreaking havoc isn't something he'd wish on anyone. He does get the chance to test out the radiotherapy equipment but we don't know whether it's worked or not. He leaves just as McGee (who's been with the police covering the case) arrives to speak to Juliet and Michael but they don't let on anything about the Hulk or Banner. As Juliet looks out of the window, we see Banner leaving on a bus for pastures new...
Unfortunately while there's a couple of neat bits in it and that fight scene with the bear is almost worth sitting through just for the sheer "what the f---" value, "The Return of the Incredible Hulk" is a typical '70s Marvel effort ie slow, plodding and with a lot of plot-padding. Bill Bixby does his best as always (though the less said about the rest of the case, especially the ultra-wooden duo of Juliet and Michael, the better) but the incredibly slow pacing of this film (especially the interminable swamp chase sequence) makes it a bit of a chore to stay interested in. There would be a third Hulk film before the series reverted back to the small screen, "Bride of the Incredible Hulk" released later in 1978 and we may finally cover that here some day. Similar to "Death of the Incredible Hulk" this one is very much for completists only though...
FINAL RATING: ✊✊✊ (3/10)
CURRENT MARVEL FILM TABLE
1. Spiderman 2 (2004) (9/10)
2. Spiderman (2002) (9/10)
3. X-Men 2 (2002) (8/10)
4. Men In Black (1997) (8/10)
5. X-Men (2000) (8/10)
6. Blade 2 (2001) (7/10)
7. Blade (1998) (7/10)
8. The Incredible Hulk Returns (1988) (6/10)
9. The Punisher (2004) (6/10)
10. Conan The Barbarian (1982) (6/10)
11. Elektra (2005) (6/10)
12. Conan The Destroyer (1984) (6/10)
13. The Trial Of The Incredible Hulk (1989) (6/10)
14. Blade Trinity (2004) (6/10)
15. Men In Black 2 (2000) (6/10)
16. The Incredible Hulk (1977) (5/10)
17. The Fantastic Four (2005) (5/10)
18. Doctor Mordrid (1992) (5/10)
19. The Punisher (1989) (5/10)
20. Doctor Strange (1978) (5/10)
21. Nick Fury: Agent Of SHIELD (1998) (4/10)
22. The Fantastic Four (1994) (4/10)
23. Hulk (2003) (4/10)
24. Red Sonja (1985) (4/10)
25. Captain America 2: Death Too Soon (1979) (4/10)
26. Spiderman (1977) (4/10)
27. The Death Of The Incredible Hulk (1990) (3/10)
28. Man-Thing (2005) (3/10)
29. The Incredible Hulk Returns (1978) (3/10)
30. Spiderman: The Dragon's Challenge (1979) (3/10)
31. Howard The Duck (1986) (2/10)
32. Captain America (1990) (2/10)
33. Captain America (1979) (2/10)
34. Generation X (1996) (2/10)
35. Spiderman Strikes Back (1978) (2/10)
36. Daredevil (2003) (2/10)
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