Friday, 1 June 2018

Marvel Mondays/Midweek #29 - The Punisher (2004)

Before Marvel's recent move to bring it in house and add it to the Netflix universe (to decent effect it has to be said), the Punisher was one of those Marvel movie franchises that seemed to be stuck getting reboot after reboot with little joy on the success front (see also Captain America and the Fantastic Four). To be honest, I've always thought Frank Castle is a notoriously tricky character to get right when it comes to films as he's very different from the other popular Marvel superheroes. If anything, he's more like a DC character with the ultra-dark and violent nature of his personality. This also means that any film tie-in pretty much has to fall into the "video nasty" category making it very difficult for it to be anything other than a niche success as all three of the attempts to bring Castle to the big screen have found out to their cost.


We've encountered the Punisher before on these pages in the 1989 film starring Dolph Lundgren - there's worse films about but it was very much an '80s action movie by numbers. However, 2004 saw Marvel make their second attempt to bring the character to the big screen. Let's see how it all went down...


The film kicks off with the CIA making a drugs bust at the docks in Tampa. Two hoodlums, Bobby Saint and Mickey Duka, who we later find out are henchmen of Mafia boss Howard Saint (John Travolta), are in the middle of doing an arms deal with a German dealer called Otto Schmidt when the law enforcement men bust in and gun down Schmidt and Saint Jr with Duka doing a runner.



It turns out of course that Schmidt isn't dead, he's undercover agent Frank Castle (Thomas Jane) in a bad wig and this was his final mission before retiring from the force to spend time with his wife (Samantha Mathis who you may remember as Daisy from the Super Mario Bros movie) and son.




However, Saint obtains the line of evidence linking Castle to Schmidt and promptly traces Frank to Puerto Rico where he's attending a family get-together sorted out by his Dad (Roy Scheider from Jaws!) before he and his family leave to start a new life in London. However, obviously this never happens as Saint's hitmen (led by his other son John) descend on the complex and slaughter everyone. Castle's wife and son are mown down by a truck and Frank himself is shot dead and left to drown in the ocean.



Luckily for Frank he floats to shore and is rescued and nursed back to health by a local fisherman. Returning to the States, he realises that six months on and nothing has been done to bring his family's killers to justice. Renting a room at a shared house with waitress Joan (Rebecca Romijn), chubby Italian Bumpo and stoner type Dave, he plots vengeance, first by kidnapping Duka and persuading him to join his side rather than being Saint's kick-dog.


Through research, Frank learns that Saint's wife Livia was the one who ordered the hit on Castle's family and that his chief henchman Quentin Glass (who was the other head hitman in the raid) is a closet homosexual. Frank sets about sabotaging Saint's business operations (shades of Luke Cage there rather than the Punisher!) including forcing one of his money launderers to throw $50,000 out of a window into the nearby high street where it's quickly grabbed by passers by.


Angry, Saint orders a hit on Castle and sends a couple of hitmen to finish him off. First up is Johnny Cash lookalike guitarist/hitman Harry Heck who randomly turns up at the diner where Joan works to serenade Castle with a blues song before telling him it's what he'll be playing at his funeral. Sure enough, later in the day Heck attempts to ram Castle's car off a bridge but after closing in to finish him off he gets caught out with a throwing knife to the throat (ouch!).




Shortly afterwards, Saint sends a giant Russian hitman (wrestler Kevin "Diesel" Nash) out to finish Frank off while he's having a meal with his neighbours who are so engrossed with Bumpo's Italian music that they don't hear the two of them having a life-or-death fight next door. Frank eventually kills the big guy by throwing boiling oil in his face then knocking him down a flight of stairs, breaking his neck.


As Frank is being tended to by Joan, Bumpo and Dave, Saint's goons led by Johnny and Glass raid the house. Joan hides Castle in a compartment under the floorboards and the others plead ignorance even when Glass rips Dave's piercings out with pliers (ouch!). As Bumpo takes Dave to the hospital, Frank thanks them for covering for him and plans his final mission.


Throughout the film, Frank has been going undercover to plant evidence that Livia is having an affair with Glass. Saint, sensing something is up, goes to Glass' house only to find one of Livia's earrings in his bed, planted there by Frank. Enraged, he stabs Glass to death and throws Livia off a bridge on to some railway tracks where a freight train mows her down.




Castle tracks Saint back to his club afterwards and blows seven shades out of it, killing all of his henchmen (including Johnny who ends up having a grenade attached to his hand which detonates as soon as he moves). Saint attempts to escape across the car park but is shot by Castle who owns up to the schemes involving Glass and Livia then tying his foot to a burning car which drags him across the car park before hitting a grenade and blowing up in a fireball.


Frank returns to his apartment with the aim of killing himself now that his vengeance is done but after seeing a vision of his wife, he decides to instead become the Punisher, seeking vengeance for society's wronged. As a parting present for Joan, Bumpo and Dave, he leaves them about $50,000 each in the cupboard of their flat from Saint's money.


Although not a classic, this is honestly probably the best of the three Punisher movies - yes, it's a bit by-numbers but compared to the dated 1989 Dolph Lundgren version and the plot-free gorefest that was 2009's "War Zone", it at least feels like a step upwards with some attempts to vary things up. The things wrong with it - much as I like John Travolta, he's miscast here in the role of the lead villain. It's weird because he's shown in the past that he can do the bad guy role well (watch "Broken Arrow" from the mid-'90s for proof) but here he just doesn't really feel threatening enough meaning when he finally gets his ultra-violent comeuppance there's no real sense of "Yeah, he deserved that", more "Hmmm...did he really deserve all that?". Also, the plot definitely has a few holes in it especially the final revenge sequence which just feels needlessly grim (then again, I s'pose, Punisher). Overall though, this is a decent enough slice of blood, guns and gore which just about feels worthy of carrying the "Punisher" name. Unfortunately, like its 1989 predecessor, "The Punisher" bombed at the box office, only just making back its budget and the series was promptly sent off for a reboot with Ray Stevenson taking over from Jane for the sort-of-follow-up, 2009's "Punisher: War Zone". But more on that when we come to it...

FINAL RATING: 💀💀💀💀💀💀 (6/10)

CURRENT MARVEL FILM TABLE

1. Spiderman (2002) (9/10)
2. X-Men 2 (2003) (8/10)
3. Men In Black (1997) (8/10)
4. X-Men (2000) (8/10)
5. Blade 2 (2001) (7/10)
6. Blade (1998) (7/10)
7. The Incredible Hulk Returns (1988) (6/10)
8. The Punisher (2004) (6/10)
9. Conan The Barbarian (1982) (6/10)
10. Conan The Destroyer (1984) (6/10)
11. The Trial Of The Incredible Hulk (1989) (6/10)
12. Men In Black 2 (2000) (6/10)
13. The Incredible Hulk (1977) (5/10)
14. Doctor Mordrid (1992) (5/10)
15. The Punisher (1989) (5/10)
16. Doctor Strange (1978) (5/10)
17. Nick Fury: Agent Of SHIELD (1998) (4/10)
18. The Fantastic Four (1994) (4/10)
19. Hulk (2003) (4/10)
20. Red Sonja (1985) (4/10)
21. Captain America 2: Death Too Soon (1979) (4/10)
22. Spiderman (1977) (4/10)
23. The Death Of The Incredible Hulk (1990) (3/10)
24. Spiderman: The Dragon's Challenge (1979) (3/10)
25. Howard The Duck (1986) (2/10)
26. Captain America (1990) (2/10)
27. Captain America (1979) (2/10)
28. Generation X (1996) (2/10)
29. Spiderman Strikes Back (1978) (2/10)
30. Daredevil (2003) (2/10)

NEXT WEEK: A second dose of Spidey as Tobey Maguire returns for Spiderman 2

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