Monday, 11 June 2018

Marvel Mondays #31 - Blade Trinity (2004)

When I was reviewing Superman 3 on here for the DC Saturdays part of the blog, I mentioned about the dreaded "third movie curse" when it comes to Marvel and DC film franchises. Blade Trinity is one of those films that frequently gets lumped in with this bracket - plagued with problems during filming and critically savaged on release, it was seen as yet more proof that most superhero film series' should put on the brakes after the second effort.


The main problems with the production of the film stemmed from the fact that since Blade 2, Wesley Snipes and scriptwriter-turned-director David Goyer had fallen out big time with the former accusing the latter of racism and the latter vigorously denying it. However, both were contracted in to do another film and very reluctantly had to team up again. The net result was that, by all accounts, Snipes was acting like a total diva on set and hardly interacting with anyone else which made for a very bad atmosphere around the film. Upon release, the film was generally dismissed as a cookie cutter action film which eschewed the blood and guts which had been its predecessors' main selling points and I certainly remember being disappointed by it when I saw it a decade ago. However, upon re-watching it again, I was surprised to find out that time has actually been quite kind to this much-maligned film. Intrigued? Read on dear, erm, reader...



The film kicks off with a group of vampires in Syria looking for an ancient tomb. One of them finds it but promptly loses his head. Literally. Meanwhile, we catch up with Blade and his old cohort Whistler (Kris Kristofferson returning for the third time) on a mission to get rid of a nest of vampires. The undead are promptly staked and sliced as per drill but upon preparing to dispatch the last vampire, Blade realises he's been fooled into gunning down a human, one of the vamps' familiars. Up on a nearby roof, we see a vampire goth girl filming the incident.


Sure enough, Blade and Whistler are soon on the evening news and public enemy number one. The FBI raid their hideout with Whistler being shot dead (properly this time, not like in the first Blade film where he promptly came back as if nothing had happened for the follow-up) and Blade captured.



In the police station, Blade is being interrogated when suddenly one of the police psychologists and the chief sergeant announce that he's due to be sectioned over to special branch. As we see, both of them are actually vampire familiars who are planning on turning Blade over to their masters. Things look bleak until two teenagers break into the station, indulge in a bit of vampire slaying and help Blade escape.


Back at the hideout, we find out that Blade's rescuers are Hannibal King (Ryan Reynolds) and Abigail Whistler (Jessica Biel), daughter of the original Whistler, who upon his death have been assigned to take over as Blade's protectors. Incidentally, Reynolds pretty much gets all the best lines in this film and you can already see him honing the lovable smart-arse schtick that he'd perfect with "Deadpool" a decade or so later. The poor guy's got a lot of bad comic book tie-ins to go before then though as we'll see in future editions of both Marvel Monday and DC Saturday...





King and Whistler are part of a community of slayers with the ranks also including blind computer expert Sommerfield (American Pie's Natasha Lyonne), weapons nerd Hedges (Agents of SHIELD's Patton Oswalt) and streetwise Dex. The group have been tailing the goth girl who we find out is called Danica Talos (Parker Posey from Josie & The Pussycats, Scream 3 etc). Talos, aided by her brother Asher and their hired muscle Jarko Grimwood (WWE wrestler Triple H!) were the vampires on the quest in Syria at the start of the film where they have resurrected Dracula, the first vampire. Or, as he's known in the modern world, Drake. Hmm, somehow doesn't have quite as threatening a ring to it when you say it like that does it? Drake is played by "Prison Break"'s Dominic Purcell, fresh from playing a hard-nosed jailbird brawler in that series. Bit of a miscasting there methinks. We also find out that King used to be Danica's familiar until he was rescued by Whistler Jr.


The team realise through threatening a bunch of familiars that one of Talos' team, Edgar Vance, is working as a doctor in the city. However, they get to his office to find he's already been offed by Drake before he can blab. Drake promptly stabs King and then makes a getaway out of a window. Blade promptly lands behind him, so what does Drake do?


He runs away.


And runs some more.



And keeps on running. Like a total scaredy cat. Yeah, great way to get your villain looking like a threat to the main hero there, scriptwriter dude. Blade and Drake eventually have a confrontation on the roof where Drake taunts him for a bit before jumping to safety. Ooh yeah, bet he's really scared now...


Back at base, Blade and Abigail get a call to go and check out a vampire facility on the outskirts of town, leaving King behind to be treated for his wounds. This turns out to be a blood farm, run by the police chief who works as Talos' familiar. He describes it as part of a vampire "final solution" where homeless people are rounded up and fed into the factory to be drained of their blood to feed Drake and the others. This is actually a pretty neat idea for a subplot so of course it's promptly abandoned straight away as Blade shuts the machine down with the humans inside all being brain-dead already then shoots the bent copper as he attempts to escape.


Blade and Abigail return to base to discover that Drake's paid a call while they were out with Hedges, Dex and Sommerfield all being slaughtered and King being kidnapped along with Sommerfield's daughter Zoe. Sommerfield has left a message explaining that as Drake is the first vampire, he's immune to most of the normal things that kill vampires such as sunlight. However, Sommerfield has been working on a powerful anti-vampire disease which would eradicate all vampires within a given radius - unfortunately, to work, it needs the most powerful vampire pathogen possible, Drake's blood.


Cue Blade and Abigail tracking Drake down to his lair. King has been captured and tortured by the Talos siblngs and Darkwood who threaten to turn him into a vampire and force him to feed on Zoe but he's rescued before that comes to pass. Cue the big end of film punch-up which is actually executed much better than the slightly shoddy ones in Blade and Blade 2 and pretty much rescues this film from being a write-off. Among the highlights include:


Ryan Reynolds taking on Triple H in a wrestling match!


Vampire dogs!


Drake turning into a big evil ogre!



And...I dunno, loads more cool stuff. In the end, Blade manages to stab Drake with the pathogen-laced arrow which causes the disease to go airborn, killing the remaining vampires in the lair including Danica (by this point King has already offed Darkwood and Abigail has shot Asher). The FBI raid the compound and discover Blade's body only to discover it was Drake in disguise allowing his nemesis to escape. And thus the film endeth.


I'm quite surprised to admit that Blade: Trinity is a lot better than I remember it being. The things wrong with it - it gets off to a very slow start, Purcell is hopelessly miscast as Dracula/Drake, the whole "Final Solution" storyline is pretty much abandoned after one scene and there's definitely a few tweaks that the script could've done with. However, the end fight scene, even though it's lacking in the blood and guts of its two predecessors , looks much more professionally done than the shoddy ones in Blade 1 and 2 did and actually pretty much saves this film - I'd even go so far as to say the lack of the red stuff actually works to its advantage as it sets it aside from its predecessors and means that the film has to go into different territory. Meanwhile Ryan Reynolds and Wesley Snipes both have some decent dialogue to keep things snappy and apart from the miscast Purcell, the rest of the cast give a solid performance. Yes, it's still the weakest film of the Blade trilogy but it could definitely have been a lot lot worse.


Given the problems it had during filming, it shouldn't be any surprise to find out that there was no Blade 4 and the character has now reverted back to Marvel ownership although he's yet to make any sort of return to the big screen (there was an abortive attempt at a Blade TV series in 2007 which received poor reviews and was cancelled after one season) but it'll be interesting to see where Marvel do decide to take this character when he comes back. In the meantime, don't believe the hype, "Blade Trinity" while not a classic, is definitely a passable two hours of vampire slaying fun.

FINAL RATING: 👹👹👹👹👹👹 (6/10)

CURRENT MARVEL FILM TABLE

1. Spiderman 2 (2004) (10/10)
2. Spiderman (2002) (9/10)
3. X-Men 2 (2003) (8/10)
4. Men In Black (1997) (8/10)
5. X-Men (2000) (8/10)
6. Blade 2 (2001) (7/10)
7. Blade (1998) (7/10)
8. The Incredible Hulk Returns (1988) (6/10)
9. The Punisher (2004) (6/10)
10. Conan The Barbarian (1982) (6/10)
11. Conan The Destroyer (1984) (6/10)
12. The Trial Of The Incredible Hulk (1989) (6/10)
13. Blade Trinity (2004) (6/10)
14. Men In Black 2 (2000) (6/10)
15. The Incredible Hulk (1977) (5/10)
16. Doctor Mordrid (1992) (5/10)
17. The Punisher (1989) (5/10)
18. Doctor Strange (1978) (5/10)
19. Nick Fury: Agent Of SHIELD (1998) (4/10)
20. The Fantastic Four (1994) (4/10)
21. Hulk (2003) (4/10)
22. Red Sonja (1985) (4/10)
23. Captain America 2: Death Too Soon (1979) (4/10)
24. Spiderman (1977) (4/10)
25. The Death Of The Incredible Hulk (1990) (3/10)
26. Spiderman: The Dragon's Challenge (1979) (3/10)
27. Howard The Duck (1986) (2/10)
28. Captain America (1990) (2/10)
29. Captain America (1979) (2/10)
30. Generation X (1996) (2/10)
31. Spiderman Strikes Back (1978) (2/10)
32. Daredevil (2003) (2/10)

NEXT WEEK: Elektra - as bad as everyone says or another movie that time's been surprisingly kind to?

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