Sunday, 15 June 2014

Black Hole Sun...

So on Friday I came home, like a few others out there I suspect, to find a free copy of that most hateful of publications "The Sun" on my doormat. After a quick ripping up of said paper, it's now on its way back to Wapping in a Freepost envelope with the following letter which I thought I'd reproduce here:

To: The Sun

Dear Sirs,

Thank you for sending me a free copy of your paper in the post on Friday. However, as you have probably gathered from the ripped up remains of said paper that accompany this letter, I have chosen not to take you up on this offer and returned said paper via your Freepost service.

The reason for this is that frankly, I do not want to part of a Britain that takes its values from a bunch of lowlife vermin such as yourselves – seeing the paper headline of “This is OUR Britain” is something that fills me with dread and I hope that this is far from the only ripped up or defaced copy of your paper that you have received in the last few days.

Your paper purports to be a vehicle for reflecting the views of the ordinary man in the street but the truth is that, to paraphrase an old saying, the Sun has about as much to do with promoting what is best for the working class of this country as Eric Pickles does with entering the World Hang-Gliding Championships. At the moment there are a lot of angry, hurt and confused people out there. People who have seen their futures gambled away by greedy bankers and neglectful politicians. People who have found themselves turfed out of previously secure jobs and now find themselves on the dole queue with their benefits slashed by a government that doesn’t care about them.

This is surely a time where we should be asking questions about why the banking sector was allowed to run riot with this country’s money unchecked by anyone for so long and why the politicians (both the Tories and Labour) did so little to stop it. We should be asking questions about why the ordinary families of Britain are being bled dry by greedy corporate fat cats running our electricity and public transport companies. We should be asking questions about why despite this government assuring us all that the country is coming out of recession, that more people are living below the poverty line than ever before. We should be asking questions about why the NHS and our free education system, once the two crown jewels in the country's welfare state, are being dismantled by stealth by this government allowing private companies, whose aim isn't to ensure that patients are treated well or that kids receive the best education possible but to make a quick buck and then get out again, to slither in via the back door.

Yet rather than asking those questions, your paper takes a two fold approach to making sure that the working class of this country don’t dare question those who are really responsible for the mess we’re in. Firstly, you seek to deflect the blame on to the easiest targets in society – benefit seekers and illegal immigrants, the sort of people without any voice in our society who can’t fight back to defend themselves. Never mind the fact that for every benefits “cheat” that you so gloatingly expose, there are at least 999 other people signing on who are genuinely there for a reason, perhaps because they suffer from a disease that really does stop them working, perhaps because they were in the wrong place at the wrong time and saw the business they worked for (or even the business they tried to set up and run) wiped out when the country’s economy took a downward turn and now find themselves searching for a job when there are no jobs available. And now because of pressure from your hateful paper, it’s harder than ever for people who need benefits to claim them. Soon, these people abandoned at the bottom of the heap won’t even be able to afford healthcare as this government embarks on stealth privatisation of the NHS, again cheered on by the hack journalists you employ. Let’s be clear here, the NHS is one of the wonders of our society and the majority of other countries in this world would give their right arms to have something along its lines. Yet your paper seems to believe it’s a “drain on society” (translation – our fat cat business mates would earn even more money if health in this country were privatised and they could make a killing by charging people through the nose for inferior treatment to what they receive on the NHS now). If you honestly believe that a Britain where all healthcare must be paid for is a good idea, I recommend you watch the Michael Moore documentary “Sicko” about the American healthcare system and then take a good long hard look at yourselves. In the meantime, if you're really that concerned about the country losing money via benefits cheats, maybe you should do a couple of exposes on corporate tax avoidance which costs this country ten times more. Oh sorry, I forgot, most of the people doing that are probably mates of yours, aren't they?

As for your shameful diatribes against immigrants and asylum seekers, it’s a well known fact that immigrants actually create more money for this country’s economy than they take out of it in benefits and well over 90% of them are safely employed and paying tax within three months of arriving in this country but you’d never know that by reading a copy of your paper. They’re an easy target and it’s a way to keep the working class of this country fighting amongst each other using horrible racist stereotypes rather than concentrating on a common enemy, namely those in the financial and political sectors who got us into this mess in the first place. These shameful distortions of the facts that your paper publishes on a regular basis are at least indirectly (if not directly) responsible for the terrifying rise of quasi-fascist parties like the UKIP in this country.

Let’s not mince words here – I’m a proud Brit. England is the country that I was born in and the country that I’m proud to call home. Like my fellow countrymen, I observed the commemoration of the D-Day landings this week just gone, one of the episodes in this country’s history that I feel we should be the most proud of. I wonder how the soldiers who gave their lives that day fighting the dark spectre of fascism would feel if they knew 70 years later that there is a new fascist upsurgence in Europe and that this time Britain, thanks to Nigel Farage, is one of the countries at the forefront of it. Personally, if I was writing for your paper and saw what happened in the European Elections a couple of weeks ago, I think I’d find it hard sleeping at night.

The second prong of your attack to prevent the working class of this country asking too many questions while pretending to be on their side is to brainwash those who maybe aren’t fooled by your biased political reporting with a flood of cheap pseudo-celebrity tittle tattle dressed up as news. Day in day out, your paper bombards its readers with stories about so-called “celebrities” who seem to be famous for reasons not entirely comprehensible to anyone looking at their history. People like Katie Price, Kim Kardashian, Simon Cowell and his hateful army of Saturday night karaoke contestants, the cast members of shows such as “The Only Way Is Essex”. The sort of people who are, quite frankly, a waste of flesh, bone and oxygen.

Again, there was a time many years ago when to be a “celebrity” required work, effort, charisma and above all talent, an ability to leave the world hanging on your every word. Celebrities to me are people like David Bowie, Richard Burton, Elizabeth Taylor, Mick Jagger, Peter O’Toole, Rod Stewart, Marilyn Monroe, Keith Richards, Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, George Best, Brian Clough, I could go on and on but you get the idea. These people were genuinely recognised as having a gift, as being the best in their field. I’ll concede that we do still have some people in our society who are very worthy of being looked up to like this – the sad loss this week of Rik Mayall, a man I consider to be a comedy genius, and the many touching and heartfelt tributes he received from across society, shows that people are still capable of recognising real talent when they see it. But be honest, why should anyone care who one of those grinning mannequins from One Direction or a reserve team player from Chelsea or Man United is “bonking”? Surely, even as people in the pay of their PR’s to print this stuff, you must find this sort of stuff gets a bit boring after a while?

This, then, is why you can find the remains of your free paper included in this envelope. Again, let me say that I consider myself to be a proud Brit. But the Britain that I love is the one that celebrates difference (be it racial, sexual or personality based) in people, that pulls together when it’s threatened rather than turning on each other, that supports the least able in its society to help them make a living in this world rather than turning a blind eye to their suffering, that knows that when everyone is working in the same direction that we really can create something to be proud of in this country of ours. And none of these seem to be considered as worthy values in the Sun’s Britain unfortunately. All I can say is that if this mixture of ill-informed racism, hollow chest-beating factionism and brain-dead tittle-tattle really does represent the views of "The Man In The Street" then I can only end by quoting the late Sid Vicious - "I've met the man in the street. And he's a c**t."

Still, if you want a small crumb of comfort, at least you’re nowhere near as evil as the Daily Mail is. But I wouldn’t say that’s anything to be proud of.

Yours faithfully,

A patriotic Brit and non-Sun reader

Thursday, 23 January 2014

Talking bollocks for fun AND profit!

Well, on a day when the Gagging Law (ie the one which is basically going to allow the government to restrict funding and protest right to any organisations who might, y'know, disagree with them) came one step closer to scary reality, you'd expect there to be some sort of backlash, a call to arms, a cry to get people up on to the barricades.

Instead we got this hogwash in the Daily Mirror. I really don't like taking issue with those on the same political wing (ie the left one) as me (and I'll say this, generally I think FSF is a pretty good writer) but this is shoddy lazy journalism at its worst. If you can't be bothered to scroll down the article, I'll sum it up below:

FLEET STREET FOX: Hey everybody! This country's f**ked!
MAN IN THE STREET: Yeah, we know.
FSF: No, seriously, it's in really grave danger! The government's crippling the NHS, picking on the poorest in society (and, thanks to that "Benefits Street" program on C4, getting the more idiotic members of the population to believe that this is somehow a good thing), implementing a Bedroom Tax which is going to hit ordinary people unnecessarily hard, letting poverty levels rise to the point where Food Banks are common place and all the time the bankers who caused this mess are getting away scott free.
MITS: Yeah, we know. We read the papers. It's pretty f**king bleak whichever way you look at it. Well, you've given yourself a platform which clearly indicates you feel you have something worthwhile to say. What do you suggest we do?
FSF: Well, we could make a start by getting off our arses and voting.
MITS: Absolutely. Contrary to what Russell Brand might say, if we don't make our voices heard somehow and at least attempt to make a difference then we really have no right to complain when those at the top screw us over. So pray tell, where is the party to get us out of this mess?
FSF: Well, let's be honest, the Tories are a party with all the morals of the average crocodile, the Lib Dems sold all their principles down the river as soon as they were offered a sniff of power and anyone who genuinely thinks that Labour is still the party of the working classes is pretty much living in cloud cuckoo land.
MITS: Absolutely. So what do you suggest then?
FSF: Ummm...well, you do know we need to vote for somebody right.
MITS: Yeah, no shit Sherlock, you've already said. But WHO?
FSF: Ummm...dunno.
MITS: Yeah, great, thanks for that. And someone actually pays you good money to write this bollocks and take away five minutes of my life that I'll never get back?

Jeez, it's no wonder that we can't organise any serious opposition to the status quo in this country. If anyone wants me I'll be banging my head against a wall somewhere...

Sunday, 19 January 2014

2013 - Andy's Top 30 albums

Well, that was 2013 then. It had its ups and it had its downs and I could go on at quite serious length about both. But instead I thought I'd go back through some of my musical memories of the last year. I actually did a Top 10 albums for Pure Rawk a week or so ago but the trouble was that there were so many great albums that I would've loved to have given a shout out to on there but just didn't have the space to.

So here you go then, think of it as the 12" remix, these are my Top 30 albums of 2013 complete with a video track for each of 'em on here so you can have a listen yourself. And yes, I know some of 'em technically came out in late 2012 but hey, it was this year that I first heard 'em so they're going in... :)

30. UK SUBS - "XXIV"
24 albums in and the hits just keep on coming for Charlie Harper and his crew. The best they've done for a good few years - check out "Coalition Government Blues" below.


29. KILL FOR EDEN - "Kill For Eden" (Video - "Kerosene")
The prospect of a band mixing Garbage's sultry female vocals and electronica with the Cult's fuzzed-up riffs might seem like an odd combination but it definitely works - check out the video for "Kerosene" below.



28. GIVVI FLYNN - "Thieving From The Magpie's Nest"
Long-term Ginger and Jackdaw4 collaborator goes solo via the Pledgemusic route with a little help from her friends and comes up with a cracker of an album. Sadly there don't seem to be any videos up for the tracks from it but go hopefully this gag reel will give you an idea of the fun therein.

27. WARRIOR SOUL - "Stiff Middle Finger"
Technically this came out in late 2012 but it was too late to make my list last time so it's going in here. A solid rabble-rousing effort from Kory Clarke which proves he's still got plenty to say all these years later. Have a listen to "Planetary Revolution" below if you don't believe me.



26. THE HIP PRIESTS - "Full Tilt Bullshit"
The sort of Motorhead-meets-Zodiac Mindwarp rock 'n' roll scumbags that you definitely wouldn't leave anywhere near your house or your girlfriend unattended. Third album from then and it's a belter - check out the "need we say any more" titled "Wrist Action" below...


25. CYANIDE PILLS - "Still Bored"
Buzzcocks indebted pop-punk brilliance from Leeds. Second album from these guys and it's a worthy follow-up to their debut. Check out album highlight "Give It Up" below.



24. PUSSYCAT & THE DIRTY JOHNSONS - "Dirty Rock 'n' Roll"
Second album from the Basingstoke feline-fronted filth merchants. While, if I'm honest, I feel as though they've taken a bit of a hit as a live band by slimming down to a three-piece, they're still more than capable of delivering the goods on record. Again, no audio tracks available on Youtube unfortunately but give this one a listen, it's well worth your time.

23. SAN DUSKY & BRIJITTE WEST - "The Americana Dream"
Not sure if this one strictly counts as it was recorded in 2003 but has only seen the light of day this year. A more reflective sound to the erstwhile NY Loose and Desperate Hopefuls frontwoman's output and well worth your time. Again, sadly no videos on Youtube for this one but take it frmo me, it's well worth checking out.

22. KING SALAMI & THE CUMBERLAND THREE - "Cooking Up A Party"
Old-skool garage rock 'n' roll at its finest and a very worthwhile follow up to their 2011 debut "14 Blazin' Bangers". Check out "Howlin' For My Woman" below.


21. DUNCAN REID - "Little Big Head"
Long overdue return to the fray from the former Boys frontman - twelve tracks of ultra-tuneful pop-punk brilliance. Here's the video for one of the album highlights "Montevideo".


20. JD & THE FDC'S - "Recognise"
Another which came out in late 2012 but I only heard it for the first time early this year. Varied, tuneful and packing one hell of a punch, this was a confident first effort from these Nottingham upstarts. Check out the video for "From The Shadows" (featuring Lita from WWE). Which DID come out this year meaning it qualifies. So there.


19. DIAMOND DOGS - "Set Fire To It All"
Another one which came out in late 2012 but it ended up being one of the first albums I reviewed for Pure Rawk this year. Another solid effort by the retro-lovin' Swedes, check out the festive ode to spending Christmas Eve down the red light district "Sweethearts For Christmas"

18. DREGEN - "Dregen"
Excellent fan-funded effort from the former Backyard Babies six-stringer. Plenty of nods to his old group but a few new tricks thrown in there as well. Check out the video for the first single "Flat Tyre On A Muddy Road" and see for yoruself.

17. THE WONDER STUFF - "Oh No...It's The Wonder Stuff!"
Britpop veterans still going strong all these years later and probably their strongest effort since reforming a decade or so back. Check out the video for the first single and title track below.

16. OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE - "Seculo Seculorum"
Third effort from the Manchester doom rockers and a worthy follow up to 2011's "Dreams of Death and the Death of Dreams". Check out the video for lead-off single "Regurgitate" below.

15. BLACK SPIDERS - "This Savage Land"
Second album of simple dumb no-frills rock 'n' roll from these Doncaster natives. It's not breaking any new ground but when it's done this well, it doesn't have to. First single (vid below) was called "Balls". I think I need say no more.

14. GOLDBLADE - "The Terror Of Modern Life"
Bouncing back after the disappointing "Mutiny" album, this was a welcome reminder of everything that makes Goldblade such a good band, the right mix of punk attitude and a few new tricks to surprise people. Check out the furious "Someone Stole My Brain" below.

13. THE MISSION - "The Brightest Light"
An album which saw three quarters of the classic Mission line-up reunited for their heaviest album for many a year but with enough variety and killer riffs to make it a real standout. Video for the title track below.

12. SENSIBLE GRAY CELLS - "A Postcard From Britain"
A late entry to the fray, this saw Captain Sensible and Paul Gray from the classic early '80s Damned line-up team up for an album which recalled the best bits of "The Black Album" and "Strawberries" with some well-aimed alternately humourous and wistful lyrics about life in modern Britain. Check out the video for lead-off single "Tragic Roundabout" below...

11. THE QUIREBOYS - "Beautiful Curse"
Spike and co were very unlucky to miss the Top 10 but this was another solid effort from the Britrock veterans. Check out the video for the awesome "Mother Mary" below.

10. GIUDA - "Racey Roller"
Fantastic glam/new wave stuff from Italy which sounds like Rome's answer to Hanoi Rocks. Just listen to "Here Comes Saturday Night" below if you want proof. The follow-up (which is out already!) is pretty damn good as well.

9. THE NOVEMBER FIVE - "If You're Satisfied Then You Are Dead"
It's very rare that a band comes along these days who hit me with something I really wasn't expecting and do it in style but Walthamstow's November Five definitely managed it with this effort (again, technically it came out in late 2012 but I first heard it this year so in it goes). Imagine if the Sisters of Mercy had recruited Joe Strummer to write some songs for them and you wouldn't be a million miles off - one part sinister goth vibes and one part firebrand punk attitude it mixes two genres which aren't necessarily normal bedfellows to awesome effect. A follow-up is due this year apparently so get this and keep your eyes pealed for it...

8. THE CRUNCH - "Busy Making Noise"
As the saying goes, not just a supergroup but a superb group. Comprising of Diamond Dogs frontman Sulo, Cockney Rejects guitarist Mickey Geggus, Lords of the New Church bassist Dave Tregunna and Clash/Cherry Bombz drummer Terry Chimes, "Busy Making Noise" was the sound of four veterans getting together for a good old-fashioned knockabout jam session and creating something pretty damn special. Have a listen to their first single "Down By The Border" and see for yourself.

7. TEENAGE CASKET CO - "Still Standing"
I'll be honest - a couple of years ago I thought TCC were down and out after a long gap between new material, line-up changes and generally looking as though they'd fallen into reverse gear. So it was a pleasure to see 'em back with a new album in 2013 which was arguably their strongest yet with its big arena-sized choruses and leap-out-of-the-stereo-at-ya production. Here's "Without You", the second single from it.


6. STEVE CONTE - "The NYC Album"
As with a lot of my choices this year, this was a bit of a curveball from the ex-NY Dolls/current Michael Monroe guitarist - a more earnest blue collar rock album with hints of Springsteen and Jason & The Scorchers. No videos up on Youtube unfortunately but take it from me, this one is well worth listening to.

5. JONNY COLA & THE A-GRADES - "Spitfire"
Very worthy second album from these South London glammers. It takes the obvious influences (most things early '70s and a hint of Suede primarily) but adds a whole new modern twist on them to create something pretty darn awesome. If you've not heard of this lot yet then you really need to. In the meantime, have a butchers at the video to the surftastic "Tropical Beach" below.

4. EUREKA MACHINES - "Remain In Hope"
Like TCC, a band who fought back from the brink to deliver a very strong album in 2013 - by all accounts, they were very near to jacking it in a couple of years ago and leaving us with two very good but sadly underappreciated albums. However, thanks to a far more successful than they'd expected Pledge campaign they were able to deliver a third album which can happily hold its head up with the other two. And in "Pop Star" (video below) they may just have delivered their best single yet. Roll on album number four...

3. THE LOYALTIES - "Till The Death Of Rock 'n' Roll"
While the Eureka Machines album is a tale of triumph over adversity, unfortunately it seems that a storming second album wasn't enough to save the Loyalties who, at present time of writing, sadly appear to be no more. But hey, if you're gonna sign off then you might as well do it in style and this 40-minute riffathon of bruising rock 'n' roll anthems does just that as this video for the title track demonstrates.

2. MICHAEL MONROE - "Horns And Halos"
Mike and his band's first post-Hanoi Rocks album was an absolute stormer but despite losing his main co-songwriter Ginger, he managed to better it with "Horns And Halos". From heads down rock 'n' roll through glam swagger to even a spot of reggae rumblings, this was a mash-up of styles carried off with amazing panache and deserves a listen. The video below is for the lead-off single "Ballad Of The Lower East Side".

1. HEY! HELLO! - "Hey! Hello!"
Like I say, 2013 had some damn good albums but there could only really be one winner. Quite simply, this is the best set of songs that Ginger Wildheart has put his name to since "The Wildhearts Must Be Destroyed!" ten years ago - simple no-nonsense rock anthems that'll stick in your brain for days at the time with a message writ large behind them as the vid for "How I Survived The Punk Wars" below demonstrates.

Well, there ya go - hope you all enjoyed that and that 2014 is treating all of you good so far. Some more deranged rantings and musings to follow soon... :)

Tuesday, 12 November 2013

Russell, Robert and Ed too...

So, another thing I meant to write about sooner. I'm pretty sure most of you must have seen Russell Brand's interview with Jeremy Paxman but just in case you haven't, here it is,

Truth be told, I'm really not sure what to think about this. I agree with a lot of what Russell's saying but I've always thought that the whole "we shouldn't vote, none of them deserve it" always sounds like a bit of a cop-out to me. Trust me, I'm as fed up of the current political situation as anyone but sitting on the fence isn't gonna get us out of the hole that our leaders have been digging for the last 35 odd years. Being up north to visit my family this weekend has really reinforced what a mess this country's in at the moment regardless of David Cameron and George Osborne's feeble attempts to persuade us that the worst is over and the country's recovering. Might I suggest that they pay a visit to Middlesbrough or Hartlepool where about 80% of the shops seem to be boarded up. Or Bradford where half the city centre was demolished back in 2006 to make way for a Westfield shopping centre only for the money to run out before a single brick had been laid. Seven years on and all that's left is an empty building site where shops should be and even then the shops that are left are hardly fighting each other for space given the number of closed ones around town. However you look at it, that doesn't seem much like a recovery to me.

Russell's right about one thing - politicians these days are horrifically out of touch with the man in the street. They aren't the ones faced with soaring energy bills and, for those of us who have to commute to work, public transport prices that are going up faster than our wages are. They aren't the ones with friends on the dole who would actually quite like to have a job rather than having to sit at home bored out of their skulls all day but there aren't any jobs available and all the government seems to want to do is demonise them as workshy shirkers who are leeching benefits out of the system. Meanwhile, these corporate crooks in the financial industry continue to brazenly swindle the country out of millions and we're told it's no big deal by the people at the Daily Mail and the Sun while they continue their dodgy ethical practices and whine on about how the place is turning into Communist Russia as soon as anyone mentions press regulations to maybe make sure that people stop getting hurt by their irresponsibility and general lack of morals.

But sitting on the fence waiting around for a revolution isn't gonna change that. I'm sorry but somehow I can't see David Cameron really giving a toss about a few hundred people gathering in parliament square wearing "V For Vendetta" masks. To me, the demo before the second Gulf War started proved that that method of protest is dead in the water. Thousands of people went on that, a public opinion poll showed that 91% of people were against the war and what did Tony Blair do? Went to war anyway. Politicians aren't scared of people marching anymore - they can just look at Blair's example and think "well, if he can get away with that and stay in power for another six years then why can't I get away with this?"

If you want to change the political system then you have to infiltrate it - protesting just doesn't work I'm afraid. Start up a movement, get some like-minded souls together and get a party of your own started. The three-party model in the UK is already starting to look shaky and my thoughts are that coalition governments are going to become the norm from hereon in. To use a musical analogy, it's not a million miles away from how punk rock started in Britain in the '70s - people were sick of the twin evils of ten-minute prog operas from Yes and Genesis and extended guitar solos and blues jams from the likes of Led Zeppelin and wanted something different so they went out and made it happen. Admittedly, it's a lot more difficult to change politics than it is to change music but it can be done and there've been a couple of attempts in recent years such as the original version of the Respect coalition before it got swamped by the nutcase wing of Islam (ie the sort of people who are really no better than the BNP or EDL). And it's also, lest we forget, how the original version of the Labour party started about 100 years ago - the voice of the working classes who felt completely ignored and betrayed by the politicians. Ring any bells?

Which brings me neatly on to Robert Webb's rather bizarre response to Brand a few days later where he stated the best way out was to join the Labour party as they were the only ones saying anything different. Again, Webb is right about one thing, if you do vote you can at least say that you tried to make your voice count in changing things. But, and it saddens me to say this as someone who grew up in a fiercely partisan Labour family, I really don't see that things would be any different under Ed Miliband. He strikes me as a nice guy who would like to be doing more than he is to put some clear water between himself and the ConDems but is hamstrung by trying to please the middle class vote. Which is clearly rubbish because if Ed would try and come up with some policies that would make things more fair to the ordinary people in this country, there is a huge swathe of disaffected voters who would probably be happy to give him a chance especially given how odious the alternative is. For example - renationalising the utility companies and railways so that prices can be fixed centrally and if people are upset then they can always kick the government in the ballots at the next election. Re-opening some of those Sure Start centres and libraries that the Tories have closed en masse. Reintroducing the controls on the financial sector that (spit!) Thatcher abolished in the '80s so that a bunch of spivs in Canary Wharf never have the opportunity to sink this country's economy again. Ensuring that the Leveson Report controls are forced on Fleet Street editors whether they like it or not so that maybe we'll have a press that has to grow up and act responsibly in this country. Kicking private enterprise out of the NHS where it doesn't belong - seriously, what's more important, making a few quick bucks or making sure that we have a healthy population in this country? Ditto the education sector.

I could go on and on until the cows come home but it's safe to say that until Labour starts to try and act vaguely like a socialist party again, I won't be voting for 'em. So where does that leave me? The Greens I s'pose. As a friend recently said to me, you know things have got bad when the hippies are making the most sense. But nevertheless, I will be voting for them at the next election because that's what democracy is about. Use it or lose it.

Sunday, 10 November 2013

The solution to the problem that is "The Daily Mail"...

"The Daily Mail". It's horrible, isn't it? Page after page of hateful diatribes against anyone who isn't a white male earning more than £50k a year, relentless scaremongering about stuff that probably will never affect you all written by the sort of people who appear to have all the morals of your average crocodile.

After the whole episode regarding its hatchet job on Ed Miliband's late father, the general response got me thinking. You see, I'm pretty damn sure that there are far more people out there in Britain who disagree with what the Mail says than agree with it, it's just that we don't have the literary version of a megaphone to blast out our message from the rooftops.

But it also got me thinking - really, what sort of person generally has this much anger and bitterness and spitefulness inside them? I mean, just reading someone like Richard Littlejohn's column (well, okay, one of them - any more makes a sane and right-thinking person want to claw their own eyes out just to make the torture stop) makes me think that this is not a happy man. Ditto Melanie Phillips and most of the other so-called "columnists" the paper employs. I mean, you don't come up with this sort of level of hatred and bigotry overnight. There is clearly something very wrong in these peoples' lives - maybe they have an unhappy home life, maybe they've befallen some great personal tragedy or injustice which has scarred them or maybe they're just not sleeping very well and are perpetually grumpy. Either way, the evidence is clear - these people need something to cheer them up and de-stress them. Badly.

I therefore propose the following - we get a deputation together, head over to the Mail's offices in Canary Wharf. With us, we bring tea, biscuits, cake and some kittens and puppies for the people who work there to cuddle. The writers there will have full access to this for the day and once they're suitably chilled out we can get them to work writing their columns. Then maybe they'll see that this isn't such a bad old world after all and that when it all comes down to it, we're all human beings and really it'd be a lot more productive if we all just learned to get on and be happy with what life's dealt us rather than just whinging about it all the time and putting the blame on the easiest scapegoat.

It can't fail I tell you. Now who's with me?

Nu-metal - sorry but it was rubbish. And the indie scene at the time wasn't much better.

So I've been meaning to catch up on this thing for quite a while, it's just been a question of finding the time to do it. And luckily, I'm currently in the middle of an extended weekend with some free time on my hands. Which gives me an opportunity to catch up with some stuff that's been on my mind in recent weeks.

Such as this entry which should really have gone up a month or two ago. It all started off when I ended up reading this here NME article following the recent nu-metal revival this summer which was quickly followed by this rejoinder in the excellent "Louder Than War" webzine.

Now personally, I'm afraid that much as it pains me to do it, I have to side with the NME on this one. Trust me, I was there at the time and nu-metal (and the pop-punk explosion that ran parallel with it) was rubbish. Numbskull jock morons bleating out cringeworthy sexist lyrics and cribbing from the equally misogynistic gangsta rap movement. Think Limp Bizkit, the Bloodhound Gang, Linkin Park, Alien Ant Farm, Wheatus...it's a bit like bringing up a long-suppressed childhood abuse memory. Granted there were a couple of decent bands in there like One Minute Silence, Grand Theft Audio and System of a Down but they were small lights of respectability in a ocean of shite frankly.

However, where the NME then proceeds to completely ruin their own argument is by claiming that groups like the Strokes were the ones who saved us from nu-metal. Erm, nope. If anything, the indie scene of 2001 was just as wretched as the metal scene. Anodyne shit like the Strokes, the Libertines, and their zillion-odd imitators was just as hard to stomach in my opinion. Just in a different way.

I was just cutting my teeth as a music fanzine journalist at this time and the way bands like the Strokes got such an easy ride to the top really made me realise the truth in the old Hunter S Thompson adage about the how "The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side." Or, as the excellent Sleazegrinder webzine put it at the time, yes, a band like that may look like a million dollars but THAT IS WHAT HAVING A MULTI-MILLIONAIRE DAD BANKROLLING YOU WILL BUY YOU. And really, let's be honest, the Strokes have only ever been a bad third division photocopy of '80s Iggy anyway.

I guess if serving my apprenticeship as both a music writer and a musician in 2001 taught me anything it's that if you want to do things your own way in the music business then you should be prepared to accept that you aren't gonna make any money out of it. But then, maybe that's not such a bad thing - after all, if the only reason you're in a band or making music is because you see it as a career option or a way to make money rather than any sort of love of what you do, it really makes you no better than an X Factor contestant in my opinion.

Anyway, I can hear you saying "Okay smartarse, so what were YOU listening to in 2001?" Well, there was some good music around then, it just kind of flew under most people's radar. Stuff like this...

Y'see, there was some damn good rock 'n' roll around in 2001. But because none of these bands wore designer thrift store clothes that they'd bought on their parents' credit cards or wore backwards baseball caps and sang about how much they hated their parents, they mostly went under the radar which was absolutely criminal. Still, at least their music's held up over the years and really it's got much more merit to it than the blank-eyed career men of Fred Durst Inc/Julian Casablancas Inc.

I guess if there's a motto to this ramble it's this - good music will always be out there kids but don't let the NME or Kerrap! tell you where to find it - go and look for yourself. End of message.

Tuesday, 21 August 2012

The past. It's okay to visit but why would you want to live there?

So yes, I'm back. Been a bit of a long break but what the hey, better late than never...

Anyway, as I've mentioned on here before, I do the occasional bit of music writing during my spare time and this is gonna be a music-based rant. Earlier this week, I went over to the "Classic Rock" website to vote for the musical legend that is Ginger Wildheart and his Pledge album project as Event of the Year.

What I ended up reading over there just depressed the hell out of me. I appreciate that "Classic Rock" is a magazine which caters to the more, shall we say, "mature" rock fan but looking at the awards nominations really just confirmed why I've become increasingly disillusioned with it of late.

Case in point - the Band of the Year award. Nominees - Black Sabbath (last decent album now over 40 years ago), Joe Bonamassa (erm, band?), Rush (just NO) and Guns 'n' Roses aka the Axl Rose Mobile Ego Show (achievements - a dismal comeback album three years ago and turning up late to a string of gigs this summer).

Don't get me wrong, I still think that "Appetite For Destruction" is a great album and I even like some of "Use Your Illusion" but there's no way that band should still be calling itself Guns 'n' Roses. "Chinese Democracy" would have been a decent attempt to move the G'n'R sound forward if they'd released it some time around 1998-99, as it is it just sounds even more dated than another hair metal album from them would've. And before anyone accuses me of picking on Axl, I could say exactly the same for Slash who I went to see live earlier this year and was disappointed by. I like the guy but the number of old G'n'R songs in the set at the expense of his decent new stuff was a real disappointment. Myles Kennedy is a decent singer but he can't scream those songs out the way Axl could (though having said that I'm off to see Slash again, ironically enough with Ginger Wildheart supporting, in October so who knows, maybe it'll be second time lucky). The saddest thing is that it's not even hugely convincing to say that if this group reunited then the old magic would come back as there's just a part of me that suspects it probably wouldn't due to the huge gap and the egos involved. Sad.

Anyway, I'm digressing. The truth is that there's at least three individuals/bands I can think of who've put decent albums out this year and are far more deserving to be in the "Band Of The Year" category than any of the current contenders - Van Halen, Alice Cooper and Bruce Springsteen (hey, if CR are gonna put Joe Bonamassa in there then Alice and Bruce are both fair game to be nominated). Even CR have admitted as such - all three of those albums are up for the "Album Of The Year" award (one of only two other categories I could find myself bothered enough to vote in) and fully deserve to be. It's just a pity that the effort they've put in when it comes to getting those albums out there has been ignored in favour of bands who've largely just been on the comeback tour merry-go-round for the last 12 months.

The part that really got on my nerves though was the "New Band Of The Year" award. I was decidedly annoyed about this last year when the bloody excellent Urban Voodoo Machine (a group who y'all should check out if you've not already) lost out to the Union (essentially Thunder with a different singer and therefore NOT a new band in this music fan's opinion) but it's nothing to the despair I found myself feeling on looking at the nominations this year, all of whom appear to be groups of thirtysomething blokes with beer guts (and yes, I know I may resemble that remark myself) playing dull trad rock or, even worse, the dreaded "recycled" groups like the Union (Chris Robinson from the Black Crowes' new band anyone?) which, as I've said before, do NOT count as new bands if you ask me.

This is the main reason why I've found myself getting increasingly exasperated with "Classic Rock" of late - every new band they champion seems to have come from a time warp straight out of 1975. Whether it's The Answer desperately ripping off Led Zeppelin (a band who are second only to the Beatles in the over-rated stakes imo), Airbourne sounding like a second division AC/DC (I'll give 'em their due, they're not bad at it but if you want to hear the TRUE spirit of Bon Scott these days then look up a band called Broken Teeth especially their "Guilty Pleasure" album), Saint Jude's attempts to be Fleetwood Mac or, most recently, Million Dollar Reload sounding like a poor man's Airbourne (and how bad does it have to get when you sound like a bad photocopy of a band who sounded like a photocopy in the first place), it's the musical equivalent of those people who dress up at weekends pretending to be medieval knights and it's just thoroughly depressing to see the youth of today showing such a total lack of imagination in their music.

There are exceptions I'll grant ya. I still think the Jim Jones Revue are feckin' brilliant - yes, they may have a retro outlook but in putting a huge dose of rocket fuel up the arse of '50s rock 'n' roll, they're leaving their own imprint on it, bringing it into the present day while keeping the spirit of the thing intact. Case in point number two, the Darkness - I'll admit I'm not the world's biggest fan but the sheer energy and passion they put into what they do at least shows they're in it for the right reasons, there's no lazy muso-ism there, just people who enjoy their music and love putting on a spectacle. Similarly, the new Bermondsey Joyriders album is a great example of how to take tried and tested blues rock and fire it up with a good dose of political polemic and punk attitude.

There's nothing wrong with liking '70s rock, of course there isn't. AC/DC are legends for a very good reason and groups like Sabbath, Led Zep, Deep Purple etc are beloved by millions around the globe for a good reason. But music's like a shark, it has to keep on moving and evolving or else it dies. That's why punk happened in the mid-'70s - people were sick of prog rock pomposity and ten minute Jimmy Page guitar solos. It was time to go the other way and try something different. And thank goodness we did because we got some damn good music out of it (contrary to what the Zep bores might tell you). And if you're one of those people still plodding around with your music like it's 1975 all over again then you're completely missing the point. You might as well just join a covers band, it'd be more honest. Every person who writes a song or joins the band should have something of themselves to add to it, something they want to say, a point that they want to make. And if you honestly don't then you're in the business for the wrong reason I'm afraid. And yes, it would be more honest of you to join a covers band if that's the case as well.

I mean, seriously, why would you want to pretend it was the late '70s/early '80s anyway? You'd be stuck with an out-of-touch Tory government dismantling the welfare state while the country's economy goes up shit creek. Oh, wait a second...