Andy's Top Albums Of 2017 (Part 6 - The Top Ten)

10. ROLE MODELS - "Dance Moves" (Review here)

With no less than three albums in three years under their belts, "Dance Moves" was another good effort from the Role Models, keeping the tuneful scuzz-punk that they made their names with but adding a whole heap of new tricks such as the stark piano-led "Obituary Writer" and the funked-up new wave of "Meteor". Apparently album number four is very much going to be a goer in 2018 - on this evidence, it'll have a lot to live up to...

9. CJ WILDHEART - "Blood" (Review here)

Described by CJ as his "venting" album after a tough year, "Blood" saw the Wildhearts guitarist at his angriest on the pure fury of "Kiss It" and "Gutless" while "50 Percent Indian" was a ferocious anti-racism diatribe. However, there was still plenty of the variety of his two previous albums present as evidenced on the electronica stylings of "Plastic Invasion" and the almost industrial "Itch". Another great album from CJ and proof that he's continuing to improve as a songwriter.

8. CHEAP TRICK - "We're All Alright!" (Review here)

Like its predecessor, "Bang, Zoom, Crazy, Hello?", "We're All Alright!" is further proof that Cheap Trick must have some kind of portrait of Dorian Grey hanging in their recording studio to keep on churning out albums of this quality forty plus years into their career. Mixing in plenty of the classic Aerosmith/Van Halen style strut and swagger that they've always had but mixing it in with a bit of variety such as the scuzzy garage rock of "Nowhere" and the dreamy psychedelia of "Floating Down", this was ver Trick at their effervescent best.

7. SPARKS - "Hippopotamus"

With song titles like "Edith Piaf Said It Better Than Me", "What The Hell Is It This Time?", "When You're A French Director" and "So Tell Me Mrs Lincoln, Aside From That, How Was The Play?", this could only be Sparks. And the fact that those songs were actually as good as their titles suggested proves that they're still firing on all cylinders nearly 50 years into their career. A well deserved return to the upper reaches of the album charts for the Mael brothers.

6. DUNCAN REID & THE BIG HEADS - "Bombs Away" (Review here)

Third time was definitely the charm for former Boys man Duncan Reid - after two decent albums, "Bombs Away" saw him really cutting loose with a great pop-punk effort with energy, good lyrics and great tunes and hooks by the bucketload. Veering from the Steve Marriott meets the Ramones sunshiny pop-punk of "C'mon Josephine" through the '60s style psychedelia of "Confetti" to the almost Madness style "Just Because Your Paranoid", there wasn't a duff tune on here.

5. DANKO JONES - "Wild Cat" (Review here)

Having won the SP&R Album of the Year award in 2015 with his previous effort "Fire Music", some might have thought it would have been difficult to pull off a follow-up but hey, this is Danko Jones we're talking about here folks. "Wild Cat" is another album jam-packed with catchy tunes, awesome riffs and hooks and attitude by the spadeload. With Lemmy gone and AC/DC looking increasingly like a spent force, guys like Danko are the sort of folks we need more than ever to keep the rock 'n' roll flame burning.

4. CHRIS CATALYST - "Life Is Often Brilliant" (Review here)

Confession - when I first reviewed this album on Pure Rawk, I thought it was a good effort but not quite top drawer. Nine months on though and I'll say this - "Life Is Often Brilliant" is one of those albums that seems to get better with every listen as you find new things about it that you didn't notice last time with Chris covering a lot of musical ground and hitting the bullseye on pretty much every occasion. The epic "You Die At The End" and the quite lovely closer "Able Seamen" really prove what a good songwriter the guy is and this is an album you really should investigate if you haven't already.

3. GINGER WILDHEART - "Ghost In The Tanglewood" (Review here)

If 2017 proved anything about Ginger Wildheart, it's again that the guy definitely isn't afraid to vary his output. While the third album from his noise-rock project Mutation was a brutal and abrasive sonic attack, "Ghost In The Tanglewood" showed the more reflective side of his output and his love of country and folk music. Songs like "Pay It Forward", "Daylight Hotel" and "Golden Tears" represent some of Ginger's most heartfelt and open songs in recent years while the ode to death "The Reaper" oddly ended up being one of the more upbeat tunes on the album. Another great album from one of the country's most underrated songwriters.

(NB - Unfortunately there are no videos available for any of the Ghost... songs, however, this song from Ginger's GASS project a couple of years back has a very similar vibe so I've included it here)

2. THE GREAT MALARKEY - "Doghouse" (Review here)

You'd possibly be forgiven for wondering if we were ever going to hear from the Great Malarkey again given that there was a five year gap between their debut "Badly Stuffed Animals" and this, their sophomore effort. However, "Doghouse" was more than worth the wait, taking all the best elements of their debut and building to create something genuinely special - while old favourites like "Duck 'n' Dive" and "Beware The Temptress" showed plenty of the fiery folk-punk that they made their name with, the more reflective likes of "Shame" and "Running Endlessly" definitely showed another side to the band's dynamic and did so in fine style. Quite simply, you need this band in your life.

1. PETER PERRETT - "How The West Was Won" (Review here)

Given the long break between Peter Perrett's last recorded output and "How The West Was Won", you'd be forgiven for approaching this album with a bit of trepidation. However, it turned out to be an absolute triumph, up there with the first two Only Ones albums in terms of quality which is high praise indeed. From the pop culture-bashing title track through the woozy six minute epic "Living Inside My Head" and achingly lovely ballads such as "C Voyeurger" to the defiant "Something In My Brain", this was Perrett announcing to the world that he was still out there and making great music in fine style. A worthy winner of this year's SPR Album of the Year award.

Andy's Top Albums Of 2017 (Part 5 - 20-11)

20. THE JESUS & MARY CHAIN - "Damage And Joy"

Given the extremely volatile nature of the Jesus & Mary Chain at the best of times, it was anyone's guess as to how their comeback album would turn out but as it turned out, it was a good effort, somewhere between "Automatic", "Honey's Dead" and "Munki". There's always been a lot more to this group than just the "Psychocandy" album and "Damage And Joy" proved that they've still got it all these years later.

19. SULO - "Sulo's Full English" (Review here)

"Full English" saw the former Diamond Dogs frontman tipping his hat to the British bands who've influenced his music down the years and the result was an uplifting sonic brew mixing the Stones, the Feelgoods, the Faces and the Who ranging from big anthemic singalongs to surprisingly gentle ballads. Add in a guestlist featuring the likes of Wilko Johnson, Spike from the Quireboys and Dave Tregunna from Sham 69 and Lords of the New Church and you were on to a winner here.

18. DAN BAIRD - "SoLow"

Dan Baird may have been in this game longer than most but on the evidence of "SoLow" his ability at writing a great tune definitely isn't waning at all. More reflective than his recent work with Homemade Sin, songs like "Get Out And Go", "Won't Take Much" and "She's With Me" see him looking back at his life and the path he's taken to get where he is. Happily recovered from a recent health scare, here's hoping that he'll be around to give us plenty more good albums like this in years to come.

17. BUSTER SHUFFLE - "I'll Take What I Want" (Review here)

Like the Len Price 3, Buster Shuffle are one of those bands who've made some decent inroads abroad in Europe and the States but mysteriously haven't quite caught on yet in their home country. On the evidence of "I'll Take What I Want", it's about time that changed. The cheerful and chirpy Madness indebted ska of their previous albums is still in evidence but there's growing signs of a new social conscience and the anger that comes with it showing that this band are moving forwards and doing it well.

16. CIRCUS OF POWER - "Four" (Review here)

Reforming for their first album in 24 years, "Four" was a real shock for anyone who thinks that all late '80s sleaze bands are simply content to rehash old glories nowadays. Although Circus of Power's biker rock sound of old is still in evidence in places here, "Four" sees them pushing things forward with a collection of chaotic missives that's one part "Brick By Brick" era Iggy and one part "Sonic Temple" era Ian Astbury. A great comeback and a real eye-opener as to what the 21st century version of CoP are capable of.

15. THE VIBRATORS - "Past, Present And Into The Future" (Review here)

To celebrate their 40th anniversary, the Vibrators decided to pull off the mother of all band reunions with the original line-up joining the current one in the studio for a new album. With five songwriters on board, this could have got very messy but the result was a great varied album taking in elements of punk, glam and even rockabilly and reggae and the strongest offering from the Vibrators for a good few years.

14. DEADCUTS - "Hit On All Sixess" (Review here)

One of the most sinister albums you'll hear this year, Deadcuts' sophomore effort saw them channelling the spirit of early '80s goth and new wave like Bauhaus, the Sisters of Mercy and the Jesus & Mary Chain to suitably gloomy effect. And like all the best '80s goth music, there was a dark undercurrent that just wouldn't let you go after that first listen.

13. JIM JONES & THE RIGHTEOUS MIND - "Super Natural" (Review here)

Three years on from the untimely demise of his previous group the Jim Jones Revue and "Super Natural" saw the eponymous Mr Jones taking a turn into much darker and murkier waters with his new group the Righteous Mind. Sounding like Nick Cave and Screaming Jay Hawkins crooning the blues on the bayou after several shots of fireball whiskey, this was a dark and brooding beast of an album but one that you found yourself noticing new tricks on with every listen.

12. THE LORDS OF ALTAMONT - "The Wild Sounds Of The Lords Of Altamont" (Review here)

Like their previous efforts, "The Wild Sounds..." sees the Lords of Altamont wading into a massive ruck between the hippies and the bikers circa 1970 and emerging with the prime scalps from both sides. From the scuzzed-up garage rock of "Death On The Highway" to the ultra-sinister blues rock of "Evil (Is Going On)", this was the sound of a band going full throttle and coming up with some of their best work to date.

11. THE DARKNESS - "Pinewood Smile" (Review here)

I have to be honest and say that I thought the Darkness' previous effort "Last Of Our Kind" was a disappointment, seeing them trying just a bit too hard to sound heavy for their own good. Luckily, "Pinewood Smile" saw the reintroduction of the humour that was always their strong point with the foul-mouthed tirades of "Solid Gold" and "Southern Trains" being a cracking listen and making "Pinewood Smile" probably their strongest effort since "Permission To Land".

Andy's Top Albums Of 2017 (Part 4 - 30-21)

30. BLACK STAR RIDERS - "Heavy Fire"

Pretty much a straight continuation from the first two Black Star Riders albums but hey, if the formula's working then why change it? "Heavy Fire" saw messrs Warwick and Gorham cranking out the riffs to the usual standard and welding them to some big singalong choruses and deceptively thought provoking lyrics to keep up Black Star Riders' high standards thus far.

29. DIRT BOX DISCO - "Poppycock" (Review here)

Five albums in and there's no sign of Dirt Box Disco getting any more sensible with age. And you know what, we wouldn't have them any other way. Loud, offensive and obnoxious in the best Macc Lads/Anti-Nowhere League fashion, songs like "Working For Wankers" and "Lazy Bastard" prove that this lot aren't planning on growing up any time soon and thank feck for that.

28. JAYA THE CAT - "A Good Day For The Damned"

A good effort from Amsterdam's veteran drunk punks. More mellow than their previous efforts but they've still got plenty to say as evidenced by the political fury of "A Rough Guide To The Future" while other tunes such as "Drunk Balloon" and "Streets of Shoreditch" veering over into almost Urban Voodoo Machine style territory. Varied and listenable, this was a good effort.

27. GLAM SKANKS - "Glitter City"

Okay so this one technically came out in 2016 but we didn't get our review copy at Pure Rawk until this spring (to coincide with the group supporting Adam Ant on tour) so it's going on the 2017 list because it deserves a mention. Scuzzy and sleazy all-girl glam punk with a Ziggy/Dolls influence from NYC with great tunes and hooks to boot, what's not to like?

26. ZEN MOTEL - "Choking On The Chrome" (Review here)

Now well into their second decade as a band, it's good to see that Zen Motel are keeping their standards high and "Choking On The Chrome" saw them cranking out their trademark scuzzed up sleaze-punk to an admirably high standard on the likes of "London Is Dead" and "I Want Your Drugs". Another band you really should go and check out if you're unfortunate enough not to be aware of them already.

25. PUSSYCAT & THE DIRTY JOHNSONS - "Ain't No Pussy" (Review here)

Bouncing back after a three year absence, "Ain't No Pussy" saw Basingstoke's premier exponents of feline-fronted psychobilly on venomous form with the likes of "Not Bad For A Girl" and "Sylvia" seeing lead singer Puss pouring out every ounce of vitriol in her body over some high-energy greaser backing. One explosive comeback and no mistake.

24. EIGHT ROUNDS RAPID - "Objet D'Art" (Review here)

While Eight Rounds Rapid's debut album was a solid if unremarkable slice of ATV/Wire style art-punk, "Objet D'Art" saw them conjuring up the spirit of fellow Oil City natives Dr Feelgood with some bluesy tightwire guitar riffs being chucked into the mix to devastating effect turning a group who'd previously looked like mid-table fodder into being definite contenders. Good stuff.

23. SPUNK VOLCANO & THE ERUPTIONS - "Not Wired Up Right" (Review here)

More enjoyably foul-mouthed tirades from Dirt Box Disco's guitarist's other band. It isn't big and it certainly isn't clever but that's the way we like it sometimes and if you don't find yourself shouting along to the chorus of songs like "Nobhead" and "You're The Bastard" then there's something wrong with you. All good unclean fun and we wouldn't have it any other way.

22. THE SELECTER - "Daylight"

It's to the Selecter's immense credit that they've managed to make a comeback in 2017, nearly 40 years after their initial chart success, which actually rivalled their best stuff. "Daylight" packed plenty of upbeat sunshine-soaked reggae/ska on first listen but there was a real political anger driven by recent events in the UK boiling just under the surface making for a very engaging listen. Pauline, Gaps and the crew can pat themselves on the back for a job well done on this one.

21. THE LEN PRICE 3 - "Kentish Longtails" (Review here)

The Len Price 3 remain one of the best kept secrets of UK music and "Kentish Longtails" is another great offering from them. Taking all the best bits of '60s garage music, it veers from punked-up vitriol ("Childish Words", "Nothing I Want") to blissful psychedelia ("Telegraph Hill", "Pocketful Of Watches") while hardly missing a beat throughout. If you haven't discovered this band yet then you really owe it to yourself to set that right.

Andy's Top Albums Of 2017 (Part 3 - 40-31)

40. THE CHUCK NORRIS EXPERIMENT - "Chück Me" (Review here)

Simple old-skool rock 'n' roll from Sweden which backed up tightwire AC/DC/Thin Lizzy style guitar lines with a swaggering Stooges/Turbonegro style punk attitude to good effect. For those looking for good, fat-free rock 'n' roll like the Hellacopters used to do so well, this should serve you nicely.

39. WILD EVEL & THE TRASHBONES - "Digging My Grave"(Review here)

Unhinged garage rock from the dark streets of Vienna, "Digging My Grave" sees Wild Evel & The Trashbones resurrecting the cartoon ghoul school spirit of Boris Pickett & The Crypt-Kickers or Screaming Lord Sutch and giving it a bit of a modern twist to good effect. Similar to King Salami or MFC Chicken, this lot are another good addition to Dirty Water records' impressive roster.

38. CURSE OF LONO - "Severed" (Review here)

Downbeat acoustic barfly musings cut from the same cloth as groups like the Jacobites and early Dogs D'Amour, "Severed" was an accomplished debut from Curse of Lono with desolate skid row laments such as "All I Got" and "Five Miles" sounding like a cross between Nikki Sudden and Tom Waits. With this group's profile rising all the time, don't be surprised if they're playing much bigger venues in 2018.

37. BITERS - "The Future Ain't What It Used To Be" (Review here)

Recovering from a somewhat underwhelming debut album which was aiming for the middle ground between glam and punk but just kind of fell between two stools, "The Future Ain't What It Used To Be" saw Biters quietly discard the punk elements of their sound to produce a full-on '70s glam stomper of an album with nods to Suzy, Slade and Bolan. It's taken a while but with this one, it finally seems that this group are justifying the hype.

36. THE DARTS - "Me.Ow" (Review here)

Mixing the best bits of '60s garage rock with its 21st century counterpart, this was a good debut album proper from the Darts following their EP collection last year. Those with fond memories of the Breeders or the Von Bondies would have found plenty to enjoy in the likes of "The Cat's Meow" and "Don't Freak Me Out" while elsewhere there were hints of everyone from Jane's Addiction to the Doors. Definitely a band with a bright future ahead of them.

35. GENE LOVES JEZEBEL - "Dance Underwater" (Review here)

The first album from Jay Aston's incarnation of Gene Loves Jezebel in over a decade, "Dance Underwater" was a good example of an '80s goth band moving their sound forward into the 21st century. Veering between blissed out psychedelia and big anthemic choruses, this was an album that was much better than it arguably had any right to be and a very competent comeback indeed.

34. DEPECHE MODE - "Spirit"

Just as dark and sinister as we've come to expect from Depeche Mode down the years, "Spirit" was a good reminder that time hasn't blunted Dave Gahan and Martin Gore with the likes of "Where's The Revolution?", "Going Backwards" and "Scum" hinting at a newfound political conscience beating beneath the dark heart of this album. Good stuff.

33. LA GUNS - "The Missing Peace" (Review here)

An album I suspect many LA Guns fans thought they'd never see following a lengthy spat between singer Phil Lewis and guitarist Tracii Guns - however, 2017 saw the two reunite for their first album together in 15 years. After a slow start, the band find their feet and deliver a killer second half to reassure listeners that there's plenty of fire in the tank. Well worth a listen.

32. BASH & POP - "Anything Could Happen"

25 years after their first album, 2017 saw Tommy Stinson (Replacements, G'n'R, Soul Asylum) resurrecting his early '90s outfit for a second album which contained a lot of the laid-back effortlessly cool sort of tunes you'd expect from him. Veering from spiky punked up rebukes ("Unf**k You") to more laid-back almost alt-country efforts ("Anybody Else"), "Anything Could Happen" was an impressive effort and good proof of Stinson's songwriting calibre.

31. S*M*A*S*H* - "Goodbye WGC" (Review here)

Almost certainly the last thing you were expecting from reformed mid-'90s punk firebrands S*M*A*S*H*, "Goodbye WGC" saw Welwyn's finest adding a more thoughtful dimension to their songwriting, aiming for the ground between Echo & The Bunnymen and the Psychedelic Furs while the epic sprawling seven minute title track was a real jaw-dropper in terms of what this band were capable of.

Andy's Top Albums Of 2017 (Part 2 - 50-41)

50. NEON ANIMAL - "Bring Back Rock 'n' Roll From The Dead" (Review here)

Formed from the ashes of glammers Bubblegum Screw, Neon Animal's debut album saw them taking a much heavier and darker approach than their previous incarnation with a definite tip of the hat to the Stooges, especially on the ominous "This Is The End". A promising start from a band who I'll definitely be keeping an eye on in the future.

49. DESPERATE JOURNALIST - "Grow Up"

Similar to their debut, "Grow Up" sees Desperate Journalist taking the best bits of early '80s new wave and goth and giving them a bit of a 21st century overhaul to blistering effect. It's not hard to see why this band have been getting as much good press as they have - believe me, this is definitely a case where the hype is justified.

48. JUNKYARD - "High Water" (Review here)

Biker-sleaze merchants Junkyard made a long overdue return to the recording fray in 2017. While "High Water" wasn't quite of the same ultra-high standard as their first two albums, it was still a commendable effort with plenty of the same fired-up swagger that marked their best work and a good reminder that this lot have definitely still got it.

47. THE BLUE CARPET BAND - "Rock 'n' Roll Carpet"

Having made their name with a series of explosive live gigs across London, "Rock 'n' Roll Carpet" was a solid first offering from the Blue Carpet Band, blending primordial Stooges style garage rock with G'n'R style swagger and the odd bit of Crampsian psychobilly. Unhinged, unglued and definitely a band worth checking out.

46. THE BLACKLIST SAINTS - "Intro Extro" (Review here)

It's a good four years since we were marking the Blacklist Saints as ones to watch at Pure Rawk but 2017 finally saw the band's debut album see the light of day and it was a decent effort with angsty rockers and Smashing Pumpkins/Therapy? style ballads with bruises proving a decent combination. Hopefully that next album will arrive a bit quicker!

45. TRUE MOON - "True Moon" (Review here)

Mixing the aesthetic of late '90s groups like the Raveonettes with the classic goth sounds of the '80s (think the Cult or the Sisters of Mercy), this was a very promising debut from these kohl-eyed Swedes. Although there are still a couple of kinks to be ironed out, True Moon have certainly got plenty of promise and it'll be interesting to see where they go from here.

44. THE CHERRY DOLLS - "Viva Los Dolls" (Review here)

For those who remember that brief period in about 2002-03 when groups like Jet, the Datsuns and the Vines made Australia and New Zealand the centre of the rock 'n' roll universe for about five minutes, listening to the Cherry Dolls is bound to bring back some memories with it's low slung Iggy style swagger mixed in with some more reflectful laid-back moments. Good stuff.

43. ALICE COOPER - "Paranormal"

Okay, in all honesty, yes "Paranormal" is arguably a bit of an Alice-by-numbers album especially when compared to its "everything but the kitchen sink" predecessor "Welcome 2 My Nightmare". But even when he's in by-numbers mode, Alice can still kick up enough of a racket to put a lot of younger bands to shame and the likes of "Paranoiac Personality" and "Dead Flies" definitely prove that he's still got it all these years on.

42. CYANIDE PILLS - "Sliced 'n' Diced" (Review here)

Although the Cyanide Pills' third album sees them continue to mine their addictive brand of Buzzcocks influenced pop-punk, there's definitely signs of evolution afoot with songs like "I Don't Remember" and "Laid Off" adding a newfound political anger to the mix with some of the songs veering into rockabilly and psychedelic territory as well. The sound of a group moving confidently forwards in other words and long may it continue.

41. KING SALAMI AND THE CUMBERLAND THREE - "Going Back To Wurstville" (Review here)

Third album from the North London sausage-obsessed rock 'n' rollers and pretty much a straight continuation of the previous two but since they rocked like the proverbial caveman's house, so did this one. Veering from revved up stompers like "Tiger In My Tank" to insane instrumentals like "King Ghidora", this one is a fun listen.

Andy's Top Albums of 2017 (Intro & Part 1)

So as is traditional on SPR, it's time for an end of year album chart. As you may remember last year, I ended up doing a Top 70 which, looking back on it now, was a bit ridiculous - I think I'd just been burning the flame a bit too hard in trying to review everything I could.

This year has been a little bit more sedate thankfully but I've still managed to compile a list of 60 albums from the year just gone which I think are well worth listening to and I'll be going through them ten at a time each day from now till New Year's Eve. Where possible, I've tried to include a video to give you the reader a taste of the album (ie a studio track rather than a shonky quality live one taken by some git holding their cellphone up and ruining the gig for everyone stood around them) but unfortunately it hasn't been possible in a few cases. For those, you'll just have to take my word for it that the album's worth tracking down! Just in case you need reminding, the previous winners are as follows:

2016: The Urban Voodoo Machine - "Hellbound Hymns"
2015: Danko Jones - "Fire Music"
2014: Electric River - "The Faith And The Patience"
2013: Hey! Hello! - "Hey! Hello!"
2012: The Bermondsey Joyriders - "Noise And Revolution"
2011: The Eureka Machines - "Champion The Underdog"

Anyway, before we get started on the list itself, we've got to go through the dreaded Golden Turkey of the Year award I'm afraid. In terms of truly terrible stuff, there's only been two albums I've reviewed this year which were genuinely really bad - Josh Todd & The Conflict's "Year Of The Tiger" (Review) was unfortunately further proof that the sometime Buckcherry frontman (ie they were supposed to be on "indefinite hiatus" hence the reason for the new band emerging but now they appear to be announcing gigs again - anyone else surprised? Thought not) really isn't getting any closer to recapturing his glory days with an awful atonal nu-metal mess which sounded like it had passed its sell-by date some time around 2001. Even that was preferable though to Danzig's truly wretched "Black Laden Crown" (Review) which was nine poorly-produced overlong slices of drudgery, mostly consisting of the same riff being looped over and over for six minutes while Glenn was blaring away half a note off key and comfortably wins my "Worst Album of the Year" award. C'mon Glenn, you were in the Misfits man! And your first four Danzig albums were really good as well - surely you can do better than this, can't you?

Before we get started, one album which is probably notable by its absence to some is Ryan Hamilton's "The Devil's In The Detail" - unfortunately as those of you with stupidly good memories will remember, this actually ended up in last year's Albums of the Year rundown as I literally heard it for the first time as the chart was due to go live and it ended up causing me to have to do a fairly major rewrite of the whole thing as it ended up at number 6. However, it is a great album which I heartily recommend to anyone who hasn't had the fortune to listen to it yet (I think it's safe to say it would almost certainly have gone Top 5 if not Top 3 on this year's chart) but unfortunately due to me having first heard it in 2016 it's ineligible this time out. Give the video for "Smarter" a listen below if you need proof of its quality.

Anyway, honourable and dishonourable mentions done, let's get this show on the road shall we?

60. THE KING BLUES - "The Gospel Truth"

When the King Blues split in 2012, their swansong album "Long Live The Struggle" felt like they were going out with a whimper rather than a bang. It's perhaps not a surprise with the UK political system in the mess that it's in that 2017 saw them on the comeback trail and although "The Gospel Truth" wasn't quite up to their high water mark of "Punk And Poetry", it was still a solid comeback effort that suggests this band are very much still alive and kicking.

59. THE EDEN HOUSE - "Songs For The Broken Ones"

Third full album from the former Fields of the Nephilim crew and it was pretty much a straight continuation of the previous two - big epic sweeping old school goth. Overblown? Probably but when the end result is as lush as a lot of "Songs For The Broken Ones" is, it's easily forgiven once you've happily lost yourself in it.

58. THE FRANKLYS - "Are You Listening?" (Review here)

A promising first effort from this Anglo-Swedish outfit owing a sly nod to the "Nuggets" garage rock compilations of old. They've been slowly growing a reputation as a live band well worth watching and it's fair to say that if they build on this effort then they could well go on to bigger things.

57. THE RAMONAS - "First World Problems" (Review here)

All girl Ramones tribute band give original material a shot and do it pretty well, sounding like the Donnas covering the Descendents. A promising start which certainly suggests that they're well equipped to give the music scene a shot on their own terms if they ever decide that they've outgrown their covers band roots.

56. RHINO BUCKET - "The Last True Rock 'n' Roll" (Review here)

Album number seven from the US/Finnish sleaze-rock veterans who've been ploughing a good solid furrow of AC/DC indebted rock 'n' roll since reforming a decade or so ago. While it's not quite up with their first era stuff, "The Last True Rock 'n' Roll" proves that Rhino Bucket are still very much a going concern with plenty of fire left in the tank.

55. WARRIOR SOUL - "Back On The Lash" (Review here)

Kory Clarke continues his ferocious run of form in recent years with a collection of songs which, as the title suggests, are dedicated to getting well and truly wrecked. The general lack of his trademark political material was a bit disappointing but "Back On The Lash" was good for what it was.

54. THE FLAMIN' GROOVIES - "Fantastic Plastic"

Reformed after an overlong hiatus, "Fantastic Plastic" might not quite be up to the standard of "Shake Some Action" but it was still a good solid comeback from the Groovies with plenty of enjoyably addictive slices of Beatles/Stones indebted old skool rock 'n' roll.

53. ELECTRIC SIX - "How Dare You?" (Review here)

Thirteen albums in and there's no sign of Electric Six getting any more sensible as they chuck elements of glam, new wave, goth operatics and even the odd bit of alt-country into "How Dare You". Suitably insane but all good fun (even if, whisper it, they kind of got put in the shade a bit by Sparks' comeback around the same time)...all together now, "I can't stop singin' about fermented beverages..."

52. OH GUNQUIT - "Lightning Likes Me" (Review here)

Having burst on to the scene as Cramps-indebted psychobillies a couple of years ago, "Lightning Likes Me" saw Oh Gunquit moving their sound forward nicely with songs like "So Long Sucker" moving more towards a classic rockabilly/big band feel. It's not quite all killer no filler but it's definitely a good step forward for this band and points at good things still to come from them.

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51. THE SLY PERSUADERS - "The Sly Persuaders" (Review here)

Regulars on the London live scene for a few years now, the Sly Persuaders' debut album was a good confirmation of their ability as a band. Taking the best bits from early noughties indie and sprinkling a sly dash of Cramps-style psychobilly over it before finishing it off with a pinch of old school glam rock, this turned out to be a well-assured debut album that suggests the future is pretty damn bright for these guys.

Marvel Mondays #7 - Conan The Barbarian (1982)

EDITOR'S NOTE: Merry Christmas folks! As you may have gathered, this week (and next week) sees Marvel Monday moved back to Marvel Tuesday. Back to normal the following week. So enjoy Christmas and New Year and we'll catch you in 2018!

In the terms of the vast number of Marvel films we'll be covering on this blog, there's a few with slightly tenuous connections to the comic book giant but "Conan The Barbarian" and its two follow-ups are probably gonna need a bit of explanation behind them. Probably best known 35 odd years later as the film that launched Arnold Schwarzenegger's career, the Conan character was actually the creation of 1930s pulp fiction writer Robert Howard. However, in the 1970s, Marvel bought the rights to the character from Howard's estate and made a comic book series from the stories which actually had a pretty impressive run right up to 1993.

In fact, Conan was one of Marvel's more successful titles of the 1970s and there was talk about turning it into a film as early as the mid-'70s although it took a few years to get the funding and backing together meaning it didn't see the light of day until 1982. Although the story of the film differs from both the comics and Howard's original novels, the writer of the series for Marvel did have a hand in putting the script together and, indeed, there was a film special edition of the comic made by Marvel as a tie-in. Therefore, sod it, it's going in. Not least because otherwise we would've had a seven year gap at this point and it would've been "Howard The Duck" that I'd have been reviewing this week. And if you've ever seen that film, you can probably understand why I'm fairly keen to put that one off for a while if possible...

Anyway, the film kicks off with Conan as a young whippersnapper, the son of a swordsmith in a barbarian village with his dad explaining the mysteries of the swords he makes to him. However, just a few minutes into the film Conan's village is attacked by evil marauders with Conan's dad being impaled by a spear and then eaten by dogs and his mum being hypnotised by the marauders' leader Thulsa (James Earl Jones) and then beheaded using his dad's sword. One thing that's evident from the off, this is actually quite a gory film for the time (obviously put it next to one of the Marvel Netflix series and it's generally pretty tame), certainly a lot more so than the '70s Marvel films we've seen so far.

Conan and the other kids from the village are sold into slavery and we see them pushed into service rotating a big mill wheel on a hill. Exactly why they're doing this is never explained but we see the seasons changing, the number of people pushing the wheel decreasing and the kids still there getting bigger and bigger until it's just Arnie pushing the wheel around on his own, the implication presumably being that the other kids all died from exhaustion in the intervening 15 years or so.

Arnie, sorry, Conan is eventually sold off to become a gladiator and turns out to be a bit good at it to the extent that he becomes the slavemaster's prize fighter, being given training, an education and the pick of the tribe's women to have sex with (while the rest of the local deviants watch...eww, okay, that's a bit weird).

Conan is eventually given his freedom and for some reason the first thing he does is get chased across the moors by wild dogs which eventually leads to him falling into a tomb and picking up a sword off of a skeleton king.

He then randomly finds himself in a village where some skank who turns out to be a witch seduces him and tells him about some great prophecy involving two snakes. Unfortunately she then turns into a vampire mid-coitus and tries to kill Conan (don't you just hate it when that happens) who ends up throwing her on to a fire to get rid of her. As you may have gathered from the last two paragraphs this film is quite incredibly random.

Conan finds a bloke chained up outside the witch's house who's a thief called Subotai. As the witch is dead, he frees him and the two become travelling companions. They head to the nearest city to find out information about the prophecy where Conan also punches a camel for no apparent reason. Like I say, random.

In the middle of the city is a huge tower with snake heads on it and our two heroes deduce that this must be something to do with the prophecy. While trying to break in, they encounter another thief, Valeria, who they become allies with.

The tower turns out to be the headquarters for some weird snake-obsessed cult and while Valeria distracts them, Conan and Subotai go down and raid the vaults including a huge red emerald with Conan also getting in an inadvertently funny fight with a snake which was clearly shot massively close up to make it seem big. All together now - "For the last time, these ones are small...but the ones out there are far away...Small...far away..."

The team escape the temple and Conan and Valeria have a night of drunken passion together but it's interrupted by them being arrested by town soldiers (Conan doesn't have a lot of luck in having an uninterrupted night with the ladies evidently) and taken to King Ozric. The king (played by Max Von Sydow) offers the team a quest to rescue his daughter from none other than Thulsa, the guy who killed Conan's parents at the start of the film. Valeria and Subotai say no, rightly thinking it's a bit too dangerous but Conan wants revenge and signs up for it.

After getting directions to Thulsa's mountain lair from a group of travellers, Conan happens upon a wizard called Akiro who lives in the middle of a graveyard and gives him some flowers which will allow him to infiltrate Thulsa's followers. So yes, that above is a shot of Arnie riding a camel with some flowers. Because...why not?

Conan knocks an incredibly camp priest out to steal his robes but the other cult members see through his disguise incredibly quickly and after a quick torture and lecture session at the hands of Thulsa he's sent out to be crucified (all together now, "He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy...").

Incidentally Jones sticks out like a sore thumb in this film - while everyone else is giving giant sequoia style levels of wooden acting, he's carrying on like he's auditioning for "King Lear" or something. Admirable but it's a bit out of place in a film which features the main character getting into a punch-up with a vulture that's trying to eat him on the cross!

Valeria and Subotai eventually show up to rescue Conan and take him back to Akiro's place to be healed. This appears to be done by giving him the mother of all-over tattoo jobs then leaving him to heal during the night, during which a bunch of evil spirits show up and try to abduct him (hilariously bad '80s special FX alert!) but his companions manage to keep him safe.

The trio decide to infiltrate Thulsa's temple, seemingly by disguising themselves as the most unconvincing Kiss tribute act ever. When they get there, the cult members are having an orgy and eating soup made from human body parts...nice.

Thulsa, however, sees them coming and transforms into a giant snake before the three of them go loco on his followers and rescue the princess. However, on the way out of the lair, Thulsa shoots Valeria with a snake arrow, killing her.

Swearing vengeance, Conan and Subotai go back to wait at Akiro's graveyard for Thulsa's followers to show up, setting a number of traps around the place. The three of them manage to fight off Thulsa's soldiers with one of his two henchmen falling victim to a nasty looking "spike on a giant wheel" trap and the other being seen off by Valeria who briefly reappears as a Valkyrie to rescue Conan (hey hang on, isn't that Thor's storyline? Conan goes on about Valhalla in the film too...weird)

Thulsa manages to escape back to his temple and is holding another rally for his followers but he doesn't take into account that Conan and the princess have both followed him. He tries to hypnotise Conan but Arnie ain't falling for that one and promptly decapitates him. With their leader gone, the cult followers simply drop their torches into the pool at the bottom of the temple steps and disperse with Arnie torching the stone temple (!) before leaving with the princess. End of film.

Okay so it's cheesy as hell, the dialogue is pretty terrible, the acting's more wooden than an Ikea workshop and a lot of the plot makes little or no sense but at least "Conan" does feel like a step up from the films we've seen so far in this blog in that at least the action here is pretty continuous over its two hours and there's plenty of satisfyingly gruesome fight scenes. In short, although it's very much of its time, at least it felt like the film makers were actually trying here and it's an enjoyably no-brainer way to waste a couple of hours and that's enough to put it up at the top of the table for now. It was also a huge success at the box office (making it a bit of an anomaly in terms of what we've reviewed on here so far) spawning two sequels which we'll look at in the next two blogs.

And Arnie? Well, in between this and the second Conan film he'd go on to star in "The Terminator". Which then spawned a follow-up which gave rise to this...

(NB - Yes, I realise that the above statement has little to no bearing on what we're discussing here and that isn't actually Arnie on Top of the Pops there. But I do think that song is long overdue a critical reappraisal 😉)

FINAL RATING: 🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡 6/10

CURRENT MARVEL FILM TABLE

1. Conan The Barbarian (1982) (6/10)
2. Doctor Strange (1978) (5/10)
3. Captain America 2: Death Too Soon (1979) (4/10)
4. Spiderman (1977) (4/10)
5. Spiderman: The Dragon's Challenge (1979) (3/10)
6. Captain America (1979) (2/10)
7. Spiderman Strikes Back (1978) (2/10)

NEXT WEEK: The inevitable sequel. Well, it's not like there was a lot else about in terms of Marvel films in the early '80s...

Marvel Mondays #6: Captain America 2 - Death Too Soon (1979)

Although it's safe to say that the first Captain America film wasn't exactly what you'd call a classic of late '70s cinema, Universal obviously thought enough of it to commission a follow-up later in the year with Reb Brown returning in the title role and his scientist (SHIELD?) buddies Simon and Wendy returning from the first film (though the latter is played by a different actress this time out). Well, it couldn't be much worse than the first one, let's see how they got on...

Having (rather easily) stopped the neutron bomb threat in the first film, Steve Rogers Jr is now living a quiet life on the California coast working as a freelance artist in various seaside towns. The start of the film finds him doing a portrait of an old lady who tells him that there have been a spate of OAP's being mugged for their Social Security money.

Turning into Cap, Rogers shadows her to the post office the next day and beats the muggers in an unintentionally funny fight scene including one of the guys ducking when Cap's shield goes flying past him, stopping to laugh and then being whacked in the back of the head boomerang style as the shield returns.

Meanwhile, Simon has been called to a nearby lab to track down a professor who was supposed to be testifying at a Congressional hearing on the day at his own request but never showed up. Unsurprisingly it turns out he's been kidnapped to the shock of no-one but his dingbat of a security guard who thought he'd just been working hard in his lab and didn't want to be disturbed for the last couple of weeks. We find out the identity of the kidnappers and...

Woah, it's Christopher Lee! Aka Saruman/Sauron from Lord of the Rings, countless old school horror films and general all round badass. Well at least the general issue with a lot of the Marvel films of there not being a suitably believable villain hopefully shouldn't be an issue in this one. Lee plays General Miguel, a revolutionary anarchist guerrilla type who's either French, Dutch or English according to Simon (obviously did his research there then). He's kidnapped the scientist because he was working on a formula for a potion that ages people rapidly and wants to use it to hold the president to ransom by threatening to drop it on a city. To this end, he's posing as the governor of a jail in Oregon and replaced all the guards with his own staff. Well, you can't accuse the guy of not being prepared at least...

Steve, Simon and Wendy do a spot of research and realise that there's a certain ingredient for the serum that is mainly being imported near to them in California. Checking the records they realise that a shipment is due in tonight. Cap duly heads down the docks in the "I can't believe it isn't the Mystery Machine" van and takes out a bunch of villains in an inadvertently hilarious fight scene featuring the guy below who falls for the old primary school playground "slow-witted guy charges at you so you step to one side at the last minute and hold your fist out for him to run into" trick (with added Captain America shield) and deserves an award for services to inadvertently hilarious over-acting with his response afterwards.

Anyway, he gets a bag of the chemicals and chucks it over the wall to Wendy who takes it back to the lab. Cap then tails the van that picks the shipment up that night and trails them across the border into Oregon and a town called Belleville although the shipment is picked up by a couple of Miguel's goons en route meaning that Cap just ends up trailing the van back to the henchmens' house.

The henchmen wake up the next morning to find Steve outside their house painting a picture of his pet cat Heathcliffe. It isn't explained how Steve suddenly has a pet cat or where it's been all the time while he was at the docks. The bad guys make it pretty clear to Steve that outsiders aren't welcome in the town so he takes Heathcliffe to the vet instead who weirdly doesn't seem to understand any medical terminology. Steve also gets advised by a lot of people in the queue that he shouldn't stick around Belleville if he knows what's good for him.

Nevertheless he decides to hang about to try and get a lead on where the supplies are going to and sure enough he's promptly ambushed in the town centre by a group of five thugs with baseball bats. However, these guys don't realise that it's Captain America they're dealing with and promptly go down in a flurry of fists and bad baseball puns. A few onlookers are pleased to see the bullies get theirs including a young woman called Helen and her son Peter who Rogers previously ran into at the vet's and they invite him to stay at their farm while he's in town.

While helping with the chores on the farm, Peter calls Steve over to tell him that his pet lamb has suddenly turned into a geriatric sheep and has died from old age. Ah-ha, there's yer link young feller-me-lad. Steve demands some answers from Helen but promptly gets arrested by the police for beating up the goons the day before. However, by the time they arrive at the cop shop to finish him off, he's escaped by bending the bars and escaping. After asking Helen for some answers, it's revealed that the town is regularly sprayed from the air with the aging serum leading to the residents to have to go and get a dose of antidote from the fake vet every 24 hours to keep people in line and ensure the operation stays secret. Blimey, Miguel really wasn't taking any chances here was he?...

Meanwhile back at the lab, Wendy and Simon have been working on an antidote but by now, Miguel (having sent them a lynx cub which has become a fully grown lynx in a couple of days - odd way to get your point across but hey...) has lost patience with the president who thinks his threat is a bluff and sprayed the aging serum all over Portland (the phrase "not the obvious choice" springs to mind). By doing a bit of recon on the "vet"'s car (including a bit where Cap ends up forced to drive his motorbike off a dam and is last seen floating down a river holding on to it then Steve just shows up back at Helen's ten minutes later as if nothing had happened), Steve and Peter ascertain from the distance he drives per day that the hideout must be at the prison and Rogers duly suits up and sets off.

The final bit of the film is at least fairly engaging as there's a punch-up at the prison featuring Cap riding his motorbike through the office corridors, unconvincing genetic mutant dogs (basically they got some Dobermanns in and told them to jump at Cap while barking), some truly hilariously bad special FX (including Cap "throwing" a bike that's clearly made of cardboard or similar up on to the prison wall using strings) and Cap's bike turning into a hang-glider, something that's never been alluded to in either of the movies.

Cap tracks Miguel down to some woods near to the town where a helicopter was due to pick him up and fly him to safety. They get into a fight and Miguel throws a bottle of the aging serum at Cap only for him to launch the shield and shatter it leaving Miguel to get drenched and age about fifty years in a minute before dying of old age. Meanwhile, Wendy and Simon fly a plane with the antidote in over Portland and cure everyone there and Cap heads back to the farm to hang out with Helen.

Okay, let's make no bones about it, this is NOT a good film. However...unlike its predecessor and the '70s Spiderman films it at least does cross over into being so bad it's actually entertaining at times with the unwittingly hilarious fight sequences and there's admittedly a bit more plot to get your teeth into this time out. Plus Brown's acting has at least improved a little since the first film and Christopher Lee makes a suitably threatening main villain (though he's a bit underused until the final sequence) so it's at least not a total write-off. In short, don't go expecting anything massively worthwhile but if you're the sort of person who enjoys "so bad they're almost good" B-movies (and yeah, hands up, guilty as charged on that front) then this should at least give you a few yuckles.

This would turn out to be the last proper Marvel film for a good few years - as with Dr Strange, the idea for a Captain America TV series was never picked up and the project was put on ice although there would be another attempt to make a Captain America film a decade or so later (which we'll deal with when we come to it). By the end of the '70s though, it's fair to say that Marvel's star was on the wane with the Spiderman TV series being cancelled in 1979 and the Hulk one following suit in 1982. Looking at the poor quality of the films so far (just see the table below if you need proof), it's not really surprising - nearly all of them suffered from low budgets, poor scriptwriting, ridiculous amounts of padding to make up for the lack of substance in the plot and, with the exception of Christopher Lee in this film and Jessica Walter in Dr Strange, villains who simply didn't come across as any kind of threat to the main hero.

Technically, it would be another seven years before we'd see another Marvel film on the big screen which came along thanks to the intervention of George Lucas. Unfortunately despite a bigger budget, it'd turn out to be one of the most notorious flops in Marvel's cinematic history. However, before we get there, we're going to take a short detour into the mid-'80s and an "is it or isn't it?" trio of films which weren't originally Marvel characters but were in the Marvel comics group at the time the films came out so I'm gonna include them. More on that next week...

FINAL RATING: 🎯🎯🎯🎯 4/10

CURRENT MARVEL FILM TABLE

1. Doctor Strange (1978) (5/10)
2. Captain America 2: Death Too Soon (1979) (4/10)
3. Spiderman (1977) (4/10)
4. Spiderman: The Dragon's Challenge (1979) (3/10)
5. Captain America (1979) (2/10)
6. Spiderman Strikes Back (1978) (2/10)

NEXT WEEK: A Marvel film (sort of) with a bit of a bigger budget. And Arnie. This could go one of two ways...